|
|
I see you out of the corner of my eye,
another has fallen into your web.
I wish I wasn't woven so tight.
She enters the room with you,
gets sweet talked,
she gets lust,
she comes out,
loosing what she held so dearly.
What number was she?
I lost count after me...
Seems like you don't know what your doing,
how can you be oblivious to respect?
Wait, do you know the word?
Maybe your not oblivious...
just cold inside,
never ready to believe.
How can you respect yourself?
How can you sleep at night?
How can you look in the mirror?
To know you've fucked over so many,
can you be happy?
You seem it,
just sickening.
I know I lost the respect,
the respect I used to hold close,
clutch it to my breast.
No longer can it be held there,
for that region,
along with other scared features,
have now since been tread upon,
ruthlessly.
What's more to say?
I'm still woven,
can't find love outside this nest.
Without trying you've brainwashed,
I love you,
or do I?
No, I do.
One more thing,
how can you enjoy life?
Can you look forward to the future?
'Cause what you give,
you recieve.
Are you ready?
Are you strong?
You can't be half of what I am...
you too shall crumble.
You make me notice every flaw,
cause you dont want me,
you pretend to,
you don't.
I wonder why,
I look in the mirror,
hate what I see,
I think you do too,
but then why would have what happened,
happened?
Maybe you don't know your doing it,
you probably dont,
to thick to understand.
Yet such a smart boy...
yet so dumb in love.
Then I realize it's me causing myself pain,
constantly trying to make myself perfect,
just for you.
Is there enough makeup honey?
Am I showing enough skin?
You want me...
take me.
Just so I can feel loved,
special,
important.
Before I met you I hated myself,
then you noticed me,
I felt special,
when that was the norm I felt like crap,
then you wanted me sexually,
I felt sexy,
that became normal.
Once again shitty,
you then wanted me to be with you,
we did the sinful deeds,
I felt new and awesome,
then you act like this.
I get upset,
stand up and I scream,
you get me so angry sometimes.
I love you.
Your not worthy of my tears,
but I dont care,
cause there's good in you,
there has to be.
I worked so hard to get this,
now you tell me it won't work,
but we can still screw around,
why do I agree?
Can't tell you this,
your not 'ready'.
But fuck,
was I ready for the bullshit you gave me?
No,
not ready for the change,
the maturing of my heart and body,
the push to do all sorts of actions.
I want you to change,
you wont,
I want you to want me like I want you,
nope,
never happen.
Why don't I stop this?
Why aren't I strong?
Why am I so confused over YOU?
You do realize I'll freakin crack,
burst out of this skin,
anger spewing everywhere,
hitting you at every angle.
Just not now,
not yet.
I'm glutten for punishment,
I'm begging for more,
Go on,
hurt me,
you mine as well,
cause what else would you do?
Love me?
Never in my wildest dreams.
Screw me?
Maybe...
if I ask nicely and you have 'time',
that or no other excuses up your sleeve.
Pimp me?
Already have.
Fuck your an asshole,
after reading all this...
but still I haven't budged,
still going to fall for you,
still wanting you.
I'm doing it to myself,
no joke.
But it takes two to tango.
Back to "Tulsa: A Love and Hate Story"