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“What the hell is that?” he groaned.
“My beeper,” I moaned getting up and looking at it, “Damit its Tay, God it’s only 9:30am.”
“You have a beeper and a cell phone? What for?” he laughed.
“Tay, he said he ‘needed’ to by them for me because he wanted me to have them.”
“Well you better call him and get it over with,” he sighed.
I got up, picked up the phone and dialed our, his room number.
“Hello?” he answered eagerly.
“Tay, it’s Bre,” I sighed not wanting to lie to him.
“Bre where are you? Why didn’t you leave your stuff? Are you OK?” he asked.
“Um, well Tay. My mom paged me late last night and I had to get on a plane to Connecticut early, because she needed me. I didn’t want to wake you, sorry,” I said softly lying my ass off.
“Oh,” was all he was able to say.
“Tay please don’t be like this, OK? Don’t be upset, we will see each other again,” I wanted to say ‘I promise’ to make him feel better. But the truth was, I didn’t know if I would see him again, “Just maybe this is better, I will call you soon OK?” I asked.
Nick watched and felt so bad that she was going through this and there was nothing he could do to help her, she had to make the decisions herself. He so badly wanted to do something for her though.
“OK, I miss you babes, I hope you know that, and I love you,” he said strongly.
Somehow it didn’t make me feel anything, “I know you miss me, love ya, bye,” I said hanging up the phone before he could say anything else.
“Well that’s done with,” I smiled cuddling closer to Nick, he’s all I wanted at the moment, “What are we going to do today?” I asked.
“Leave it all to me,” he smiled.
“OK,” I grinned.
“Hey what’s the matter?” he asked.
He tried to kiss her but she put her hand over her mouth, making him kiss that instead.
“Trust me you don’t want to kiss me,” she said softly.
“Liz I am really confused, please tell me what’s going on?” he asked again.
“Ike I need to be honest with you and please don’t say anything until I’m done talking, OK?” she asked.
“Sure,” he smiled.
She hated herself and she didn’t want to talk. She hated seeing him smile, only knowing that he wouldn’t be for long.
She spoke softly, “Ike, I love you, just remember that, OK? I never meant to hurt you. Remember when you asked me if I had feelings for JC? Well I kind of lied, I did. And last night I went to talk to him about it, thinking he wouldn’t feel differently and everything, but he had feelings for me too. And well I did something I totally regret Ike. I mean I don’t know what came over me Ike. I...I had sex with JC last night and I hate myself now. Isaac I love you and I didn’t mean to. I am so sorry and I know that things can’t get right just yet, but can you please forgive me?” she cried.
Ike sat and looked at her with the most hurt in his eyes. He knew what he wanted to say but he didn’t want to be harsh. Fuck harsh, she slept with someone, he thought. He felt cheated and used, nothing could compare to how immensely awful he felt. He stood up, pulled open her drawers and dumped her stuff into her bags, then threw the bags across the room.
“Ike...” she began crying harder.
“Shut the fuck up! I LOVED you Liz, I TRUSTED you and I gave my HEART to you!! How the hell could you do this to me? I hooked you up with JC for help, because I CARED and you SLEEP with him! That’s how you thank me?! Don’t hate yourself because I HATE you enough for two people right now. How the shit am I suppose to forgive you?! Give me the ring!” he growled.
She was blinded by the words, she couldn’t move, she didn’t believe he was being like this.
“Ike please...” she begged crying her hardest.
“GIVE ME THE FUCKING RING ELIZABETH!!” he yelled at the top of his lungs.
She pulled the ring off and threw it at him, she was to scared to go near him.
“Get out! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!! If we EVER want to be back together I need time to think and cool off!” he yelled.
She stood up and picked up her stuff walking towards the door.
“Where do I go?” she asked quietly to herself, he heard her.
“GO! Go run to JC, fuck him once for me! I’ll call you someday!” he screamed physically pushing her out of the room and closing the door.
She dropped her bags and slid down the metal door. All she could do was cry, cry enough until her eyes burned, stomach hurt and she couldn’t breath...then cry some more. She buried her face in her hands and sat gasping for air until she stood back up and left crying.
“I love you Ike. I’m so, so, SO, sorry, please, please take me back. I have no one,” she begged softly walking down the hall. She was going to find JC.
“So what are you and Nick doing today?” Brian asked, already knowing the answer but seeing if I knew.
“I don’t know, but her had something planned,” I smiled sipping my orange juice, “I already dealt with Tay, how about you guys?”
“Nothing much, I’ll probably go out somewhere, and then deal with the frenzy that follows,” AJ laughed.
I shook my head, “At least you guys have today to rest,” I smiled.
“Oh Nick didn’t tell you?” Kevin asked.
My smile dropped and my glass almost did too. First Tay, and now Nick is keeping things from me? My heart sank.
“Don’t worry,” Brian smiled, “He probably wanted to tell you today to surprise you. Trust us it’s a very good thing.”
I just smiled again, all the bad thoughts drifted away. Nick was nothing like Tay, he was a pure romantic. When he walked into the kitchen I almost melted. He had his hair slicked back, but those few strands still fell to his face. He looked brand new and I couldn’t believe how gorgeous he was.
“You ready?” he asked in that voice that only he had, “It’s already 11:30am and I don’t know what their doing but I have a big, fun day planned for us,” he grinned.
I got off my stool, walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek lightly. There wasn’t a reason, I just felt like it.
“Let’s go,” I smiled.
“Bye guys,” he grinned grabbing my hand.
They all just waved and gave a thumbs up. When we were out the door they started to laugh.
“Definate sex tonight,” AJ stated grabbing his glass and walking to the couch...he gave up on pancakes.
“Oh yeah, those two know what their doing,” Howie laughed.
“Yeah well, Nick talked to me guys. He’s not being himself, he doesn’t care about sex. He really loves Bre, we all know that. He really has a fun and romantic day planned for her,” Brian stated.
“Fine B then tell us about it,” Kevin said.
“Fine,” Brian shot back.
“Hello?” he answered.
“JC?” Liz asked groggily.
“Liz, what’s the matter?” JC asked knowing the answer to his own question.
“Ike didn’t take it very well. He, he packed my things, took the ring and threw me out,” she cried.
“Shit,” he sighed not in the phone but to himself. It was all his fault and he knew that this wasn’t like Ike. He must have been very hurt.
“Um...Liz let me see, hold on, OK?” he asked.
“Yeah, OK,” she said softly into the phone.
“OK, Liz we have a show in Canada tonight, and well I mean you can come with us there and then fly to Connecticut from there, OK? I mean I will come get you now and bring you back to our hotel. I’m really sorry about this,” he sighed.
Liz just wished she had a gun, “Fine,” she moaned, “Just come get me outta this hell hole.”
“OK, bye,” he said.
She clicked off her phone and just cried again. She finally realized what she lost, and what she didn’t gain. Nothing was worth anything anymore. She cried too that her father was still dying, even though other things were happening, nothing could stop that fact. Worse, everytime she looked into Ike’s eyes she saw her father, and saw everything he wanted and she wanted to see. Why did she give all that up for an hour of passion with JC? Why didn’t her heart stop her? Why was she hurting so bad? The only question she could answer was the last one, but she wouldn’t, it wasn’t worth it and at the moment neither was she.
“Will you stop asking questions?” he laughed.
“How are you going to stop me?” I grinned.
He smiled slyly back, pulled me close and kissed me.
“Do you trust me now?” he asked grabbing hold of my hand and walking again.
I just shook my head. We walked a little while up and down a few quiet dirt roads where there was no one to notice him or I. I think he was just trying to seclude both of us as much as possible, because he knew if we were with the public both of us would get bombarded. I couldn’t complain a bit. We came to a lake and a small playground that had a big slide and a big swings. It was one of those hot muggy England days, and the sun was shining beautifully. He put down the bag.
“I bet you I can swing higher than you,” he boasted.
“We’ll just see about that that!” I yelled as we both got on the swings.
I laughed and laughed as I pumped my legs as hard as I could. I looked at him quickly and I saw a smile on his face and heard heavy hearted laughs coming from him. It wasn’t a side most people saw, in fact I was probably the only one who brought it out of him, and I loved it.
“I won!” I screamed as I got higher than him.
We both stopped and laughed so hard at ourselves.
“Yeah well I bet you I can go down the slide faster!” he fought.
We both went down and he did win.
“Let’s go down together,” he suggested.
We climbed up the many steps and he wrapped him arms around my stomach. We flew down and when we got to the end we both fell on each other in the sand.
“Come on there’s more,” he said taking my hand in his.
I just followed him up a good amount of rocks. When we got to a ledge I saw there was a rope swing over the water. He quickly grabbed a hold of it, and me.
“When I say run, run OK?” he asked.
“We’re going together?” I questioned the idea.
“Yeah,” he smiled.
“OK,” I laughed.
We both ran and jumped falling to the water together. When we went under he held both of my hands and kissed me as we floated up. I finally realized we both knew we were no longer best friends. Friends didn’t kiss so often, and they didn’t do what we were doing at all, but I knew that also didn’t mean our friendship was gone completely, it was just growing. Suddenly, as I breathed in the warm spring air love filled my body, his too. We got closer and began kissing. I massaged his neck with my hands as he let his hands lightly rest on my hips. I only loved the moment more when he pulled away and realized that’s all we would do.
“Why don’t you go look in that bag now?” he asked as we got out of the water.
I eagerly ran ahead and brought the bag back to the sand and sat there with him.
“Go on, pull things out,” he urged.
I opened the bag and pulled out or bathing suits and towels.
I laughed, “So now I find them.”
“Keep going,” he urged again.
I looked in again and pulled out a whole mess of sand toys.
“So what about all this stuff?” I asked.
“Well, I figured we could change into our bathing suites, you didn’t think I would do it the easy way by changing first did you?” he laughed, “And then build some sandcastles, just have fun. Then we’ll head back to the house, change take the car and head for the park. And NO I am not telling you what we are doing,” he smiled.
“Nick this is so sweet, and so romantic. I am having so much fun you wouldn’t even believe it, thanks, I love you,” I smiled kissing him once again.
“Well I’m glad you are, cause’ I am too, and about the ‘I love you thing’? Count me in too,” he laughed, “Now go change.”
I stood up, “What your not coming?” I asked giving a pouty face.
“Well if you insist,” he grinned quickly catching up to me, heading for the brush area.
“Hi,” she smiled back at Justin and Amy.
They pulled away and smiled at her.
“Hi I’m Amy,” the girl smiled.
She was slender and blonde. Her hair was short, very short...with little rhinestones in it. Her eyes were a deep, deep blue color.
“Hi, I’m Liz,” she smiled trying to be polite.
“So are you dating JC?” Amy asked thinking nothing of the question.
“No actually, we WERE friends or whatever,” Liz said, “Hey Justin.”
“Yo wassap’!” he said putting out his arms to hug her.
She let him hug her and then turned back around to JC, and hit him upside the head.
“What the...” he began.
“I thought you’d be there for me!” she cried hitting him on the arm again, “No, we have fucking sex and you come get me with people! My God, don’t you want to make up for anything?! Isaac just threw my outta the fucking hotel room and you could give a shit, you just got what you wanted! I don’t even think you cared about me when you took me to get help! Forget you, forget this, just bring me to the airport, at least you saved me money to call a cab and cab fare!” she screamed.
“Lizzy please, I didn’t think this would happen, I wasn’t ready,” he said slowly.
“Never, EVER call me Lizzy, only Ike can call me that! Now just take me to the airport you bastard!” she yelled.
“FUCK YOU! You started it, you were the one that wanted sex!” he growled.
“Oh wow JC, REAL MATURE! You are 21! You should have realized that it was wrong and ILLEGAL! If you cared about my well being you would have refused!”
Amy just looked at Justin and shook her head.
“Did you know about this?” she asked him.
“No, and I’m glad I didn’t,” he sighed.
“I don’t think we should be here,” Amy said.
He pulled her closer, kissed her and placed her head on his shoulder, shielding her from the yelling.
“I know,” Justin said softly, in her ear.
“That was really sweet of you, do you know that?” I asked.
“Sweet of me to do what?” he asked as he cautiously took my hand.
“You know back there in the bushes. Thank you for not looking over when I was changing. I mean any other guy would have peaked, but you, you have class Mr. Carter, thank you,” I smiled tightening the grip.
“Well, I’m not every other guy, but if you were some other girl, I probably would of to be honest. But I really care about you and your well being, I would never look at you naked. I’m not dating you, and I’m not your boyfriend,” he laughed and then looked down, “Plus, with you even if we were together I would wait until we made love. It would be better that way for us, any other girl...I couldn’t say the same.”
I laughed, pulled into his arms and looked up at him, holding both of his hands, “What did I do to deserve you?”
“You did exactly what I did to deserve you,” he smiled as we sat down on our towel, “You took a chance at something different and got lucky...blessed.”
I just smiled, he was so right.
“Ready to build that sandcastle?” I grinned.
“Of course,” he smiled.
“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” he yelled, “Damnit, I try to help her and she sleeps with him! God, am I that bad? Am I SO repulsive that Liz goes to JC for sex? I mean shit he’s in his 20’s! But at the same time I don’t want to loose her, I just want to forget it about it and move on, shit!” he yelled as he laid down.
“I’ll be back Justin,” JC said running after Elizabeth.
He got as far as the entrance doors, Justin and Amy watched as he grabbed Liz’s arms.
“Please come back with me. Let me do something, anything,” he begged, “I’m suppose to be a mentor, remember?”
She just looked at him coldly in the eyes, and then slapped him as hard as she could across the face.
“FUCK OFF!” she yelled loudly, “You had your chance at me, to be my mentor, to do something. And come after me I will make sure MTV gets the WHOLE story!” she screamed walking away.
He walked back to the car, stunned.
“What a bitch!” he yelled driving away.
“Um no, JC she’s not a bitch, your just an asshole for sleeping with a 16 year old who was engaged to Isaac Hanson. How stupid could you be?” Amy asked coldly. She felt so bad for the girl, she barely knew her, but she felt the pain Liz was. She just wanted to help.
“Very stupid, that’s how stupid I could be,” JC sighed.
“Now Nicky,” I smiled, pulling him into his room, “What are we doing?”
“Well, put this on,” he said handing me one of my favorite short dresses, and a pair of my white platform shoes, “We’re going to the park and then you’ll see from there.”
“OK,” I smiled.
I quickly went into the bathroom, freshened up and put on what he wanted me to. The dress was light purple and came up half way up my thigh. It had a very low cut back and very thin straps which had rhinestones on them to shimmer. The bottom was wavy and it had a low neck, to me it was a very comfortable dress. The shoes were just strappy and white. I looked at myself in the long mirror and gave a thumbs up, I had just dusted my face with some make up and let down my hair so it had gentle waves running through it. Why would he want me to be so dressed up to go to the park?I wondered. When I walked out he had on a pair of baggy black Armani pants and a light bule button up shirt that had short sleeves.
“So Mr. Nicky, why are we all decked out? Not that I’m complaining because you look gorgeous, but more then usual,” I smiled.
He didn’t talk, he just smiled, “Your beautiful,” he gawked.
“Thank you,” I blushed at his sudden burst of affection.
He locked the house door and opened my car door as I got in. I wasn’t going to ask the question again, I’d let him have his fun.
As we drove to the park I just held his hand. The sun was setting and the sky was an odd color of pink purple and deep, deep blue. We had spent the whole afternoon at the lake. I just smiled thinking back to all the fun I had, had this afternoon. Once he parked he just looked at me in the car for a little while.
I can’t believe she is this gorgeous, my God. I have never seen a more beautiful girl,he thought to himself.
When he took my hand and brought me to the center of the park I say a carriage that was pulled by horses.
“Is that ours?” I asked curiously.
“Of course,” he smiled.
The driver opened the door and Nick helped me in, following in my foot steps. As the carriage began to pull away I turned and looked into his eyes. I realized at the moment, I didn’t want my life any other way. I didn’t know who I was fooling in the past as I grew more and more to love him. I especially didn’t know why I was denying myself him, when I knew I loved him.
“Nick, go out with me? Be my boyfriend?” I asked softly.
I knew that I could have said a whole big speech before I asked him, but I didn’t bother, I didn’t need to. I knew that’s all he wanted to hear.
His eyes lit up and he just look at me.
“What about Ta..?” he began.
“He’s gone, forget him, I want you. Nick I love you and I always have. There are those people that when you meet them you know you need to have them in your life, and have them love you like you love them, and your that person in my life Nick. I don’t know why I denied it, to myself, God, others, and you. But I love you, not just as a best friend, but as a boyfriend...a guy that I fully love.”
“Bre, of course I will be your boyfriend. My God, do you know how happy this makes me? I mean I thought that I could never have you...like you were untouchable to me. But being able to have you now and know that when I kiss you, all the feelings we have are pure love. When I’m with you all I feel is un regrettable love, and whether I made the worst mistake of my life to be with you, I’m the happiest man alive right now,” he smiled.
“So it’s official now, your mine, all mine,” I laughed moving closer to him.
“I’m all your and your all mine...forever, and I will never let you hurt, anymore,” he said stroking my face.
Tay and I had said we would be forever too, but there was something about Nick I could trust. We both held each other knowing that we weren’t going anywhere, we weren’t going to run to anyone else. Suddenly something happened. It was as if we had never kissed each other before. His face grew closer to mine and I closed my eyes, he did to. I could feel his breath warm on my face, our lips met. It was a sweet gentle kiss and he pulled away. I didn’t want it to stop, it felt too good. I leaned back in and we kissed again. This time his tongue brushed against my teeth and then I let it meet mine. Our tongues swirled in circles and I could feel my knees going weak and an amazing feeling inside me. He pulled away and looked into my eyes.
“I love you,” he said brushing my cheek with his hand again.
“I love you too,” I smiled, “This is amazing, I am so glad I have you.”
For the first tome we felt each others love in the sweetest way possible. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes listening to his heart beat. We both were the happiest we had ever been.
“Bre there is something I have been meaning to tell you all day,” he began.
I instantly remembered what Brian had told me this morning, then I remembered he had said it was good news.
“What is it Nick?” I asked smiling.
“We’re leaving for New York on Tuesday, please stay with me until then? You can get a flight to Connecticut the same time ours is for New York. Tomorrow we can do everything and anything you want, than Monday night JIVE and RCA are having a forth of July party for all of the musicians on the labels here in London. I don’t know why JIVE is merging with RCA for the party, but they are, please go with me?” he asked.
I just smiled and jumped into his arms.
“Of course! I’d do anything to spend time with you!” I said happily.
“What about your mom?” he asked skeptically.
“She’ll live, trust me,” I laughed.
He just kissed me, “I’m so glad, this is only getting better and better,” he grinned.
As we stepped up to the door of the house and held me in his arms before he got ready to go in.
“I have an idea,” he grinned.
“Oh really? Tell me,” I smiled.
“Well, you know we have to tell them about us,” he began.
“Yeah,” I said putting my hands on his waist moving him closer.
“Well why don’t we make an entrance that will make them realize, for fun,” he laughed.
“Oh, I like it,” I grinned, “How do you want to do this Big man?”
“That’s for you to decide.”
“OK, I got it. Push the door open while we’re kissing...really good, tongue and all. Make sure one of your hands his grabbing my butt and the other one under the back of my shirt. My arms will be moving around your shoulders and neck. We’ll go straight to your room and shut the door, then give them a minute or two and walk out,” I laughed.
“Perfect,” he smiled, “I can’t complain.”
“Neither can I,” I grinned, “Ready?”
“Hell yeah,” he laughed as we began to kiss sloppily.
He quickly kicked open the door and slammed it behind us. His hands were where I told him and it felt good. As we got into the living room all the guys looked to see what the commotion was, their mouths hung open. They watched as we went straight into Nick’s room and slammed the door shut.
“Shit, Brian maybe you were wrong, I mean. You were right about them hooking up, but wrong about the sex part...doesn’t anyone have any decency anymore?” AJ laughed.
“I guess that means they are together now, huh?” Kevin grinned.
Nick and I walked out laughing hard. We sat down on the loveseat together with the room full of stares.
“Yeah that does mean we’re together, boyfriend and girlfriend,” I smiled still laughing.
“What the hell was that all about?” Brian asked shocked.
“We just wanted to play with your mind, B-Rok, chill man,” Nick grinned.
“Jesus, well you did a good job at it,” Howie sighed.
“Anyway are you staying until Tuesday Bre?” Brian asked.
“Yeah,” I smiled, “Of course, I have to call good ol’ mom, but I am.”
“Great, you’ll get to meet my Leigh-Ann, she’s coming down tomorrow,” Brian smiled at the thought.
“Cool, you talk so much about her Brian, she sounds like an awesome woman,” I smiled, “But I think for now, I speak for Nick and I when I say goodnight.”
They all hugged me and smiled.
“Welcome,” AJ grinned, “I’m glad you chose Nick.”
“So am I,” I grinned as we walked into his room shutting the door.
I went into the bathroom, changed and washed my face, looking at myself in the mirror.
“You did the right thing,” I smiled to myself.
When I walked back out I got in bed next to him and he turned out the light. I laid as close as I possibly could near him.
“I love you so much Bre. I am so happy to be with you, don’t ever go,” he sighed happily.
“I love you to Nick, I love you so much I can’t think of ever going anywhere or doing anything if it doesn’t involve you. Noting can compare to ‘us’.”
Back to Tulsa: A Love and Hate Story
Breon2000@aol.com