The morning went by in my new usual fashion. I had been beeped by Lynn and Taylor numerous times and called to. I never called back though, I was busy getting ready for my day of shopping with Leigh-Anne. Once I found a skirt and shirt that I liked on me I ran down to see Nick in the living room.

“Hey babes,” I smiled wrapping my arms around his neck from the back.

AJ looked over longingly and then turned his attention back to the TV.

“Hey cutie, how much do you want for today? Better yet here,” he said handing me his credit card, “Get whatever your little heart desires.”

“Aww, you are so sweet, but really you don’t have to do that,” I smiled giving him back the card and walking into the kitchen.

He quickly got up and wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his mouth in the notch of my shoulder and neck kissing me softly.

“I want to, I want you to have everything baby,” he smiled deeply, “All I care about is you, please let me do this,” he begged with a puppy dog face.

I just smiled, “Oh all right.”

He just smiled back making it his duty to stick the card in my front pocket. He gave an evil grin and I returned the glare as we pulled in and began to kiss. Of course when we began to get more intimate Brian and Leigh-Anne had to ruin the moment.

“OK, you two break it up!” Leigh-Anne laughed as she clapped her hands.

Tyke quickly scurried into the kitchen and I swept him up in my arms.

“OHHH! This is the CUTEST doggy I have EVER seen! Who’s is he? What’s your name sweetie?” I asked smiling and letting him lick my face.

“He’s our little Tyke,” Brian smiled taking him.

“Aww, you have him and I have my little tyke,” I grinned pulling Nick close.

Everyone began to laugh and Nick just blushed.

“OK Bre c’mon let’s hit the mall girl! We gotta get ourselves the BEST outfits!” Leigh-Anne smiled.

I pulled Nick close one last time and kissed him over and over, “I will be back later, I love you,” I sighed happily.

“I love you too,” he grinned sheepishly kissing me again.

* * * JC sat on the plane with the others, they all were complaining.

“This fuckin’ sucks!” Joey yelled.

“I can’t believe dis Yo! I mean how fuckin’ stupid is dis! We fly all da way to Canada and now we have to go ALL the way back to friggin Europe for the phat parties!” Justin moaned.

Amy hit him upside the head lightly, “Will you PLEASE stop talking like that!”

“Like what baby. Dis is your main man right here,” Justin smiled.

She quickly pulled out a mirror and put it in front of him.

“See, do you see your reflection? You are WHITE Justin! You are NOT from the ghetto! Ugh! Stop talking ebonics, talk normal for once!” she laughed but yelling at the same time.

JC had nothing to say like the others did to the funny remark. He was to busy worrying about how Liz was. He wanted so badly to be there for her to begin with, but he was just too upset with himself to be upset for anyone else. He just didn’t want to party, not now, things weren’t right.

* * * Liz had gotten home last night and as soon as she walked in the door her mother left, and told Liz she would be back in week or less. Liz just shrugged the “woman” supposedly her mother off and walked into her room to drop her bags. The last person on earth she cared about was her mother or her mother’s so called life. She didn’t love her “mom”, in fact she detested her to a most high extent. She had gone to see her father and when she slowly walked in the room she grabbed onto the wall, her heart beginning to pound out of her chest. Liz breathed in and out deeply and she looked at the lifeless body lying on the bed. She knew deep down inside that wasn’t her father. Part of her just wanted to run into the kitchen and see him cooking over the stove like he always did, or see him sitting in his favorite chair in the living room reading the daily paper. Then, there was the realist part of her, knowing that the small, helpless man on the bed was her loving father, and there was no way to make him stand back at that stove. His chest moved up and down slowly, and she looked at all the IV’s and respirators hooked up to him. The slow beep of the heart machine practically put her in a trance that she couldn’t quite pin point. At that moment she just got on her knees on the side of the bed and cried. She cried for so many reasons, not being able to explain any of them exactly. She had slept on the floor in her dad’s room that night, trying to sleep but tossing and turning mostly. Sleep was not something she could accomplish.

She sat near him at the moment on Monday. Looking at him in the eyes, hoping he would look back, but his eyelids staid down, as if they weren’t allowed to open. The only thing she could do was cry. She had made him more comfortable in bed by fluffing his pillows and fixing his blankets. She gave the room some light by opening the blinds and even read him the paper, or at least some of it. Asking him questions and talking to him like she would normally, only he never answered her back now. This is why she cried. No matter how much she tried to get him to wake up and talk to her, it was impossible. She just couldn’t change the situation that he was dying and she couldn’t stop it.

“Daddy please, please open your eyes. Please daddy,” she begged crying, “I have so much to tell you and I want to tell you all of it, but not right now, not yet. If your wondering why please don’t. I just messed everything up with Isaac and everything. I mean I really could use your advice now, but I guess since I am going to be 17 this comes with the territory, huh? I have to try and figure it out on my own before I can tell you about it,” she said taking his hand and holding it tight, “Hopefully I can fix it, and make you proud of me because if not I don’t see why I should live. Daddy why isn’t it me lying on this bed? Why does it have to be you? You are such a great person, and I love you more then anything in the world, you don’t deserve this pain, I do. Please, just please don’t let go. Just hold on until I fix things, please. Don’t leave ‘Daddy’s little girl’ all alone,” she smiled slightly.

For a minute she thought she saw him smile back, but it was just her tears.

* * * The day had been going great so far. When Leigh-Anne came and got me we quickly ran to the car she had rented.

"So, tell me more about this whole thing with Nick. I mean I go back to the states and come back here, and now Nick has himself a girl," she laughed.

"There's really not much, well I mean there is, but I don't really think there's much I want to say, ya know?"

"Yeah, but I am sure you can spill, SOME of it," she urged smiling, "We have twenty minutes."

Finally I gave in explaining to her my perfect relationship with Taylor and my now seemingly perfect relationship with Nick. I also told her my stories and problems with Liz, Lynn and their lives, catching her up to date.

"The only problem now is that I haven't talked to any of them. I mean God knows where Liz is, Taylor has bee calling non stop, but I refuse to talk to him. Then I have Lynn who called the HOUSE yesterday and practically had AJ tell her off. Everything's just a mess right now and I mean the only good thing in my life is Nick. He's there for me and helping me through this, which is really what I need right now."

She smiled and nodded her head, "Being the woman I am I will tell you right now, things will change. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse, but they will change. For now though, let's go get some outfits for tonight."

"Sounds perfect, I am so excited about tonight."

* * * Taylor had been up all night and now all morning and afternoon. The others had gone out to get breakfast but he wanted to stay home, he had a hunch and he wasn't going to let it go. Last night he knew in Lynn's eyes she knew something about where Bre was, and he would find out if it killed him. Unlocking the door to Lynn and Zac's hotel room he carefully went through Lynn's stuff, looking for anything that would give him a clue. Finally he found what he was looking for. In her night stand he found a folded piece of paper that had a phone a number on it and Bre's name written. It was a number he had never seen before. He quickly dialed in the number and waited for an answer. He wasn't ready for what he got.

"Hey it's Nick, what's up?" he answered like he always did.

"What the..." but Tay cut himself off before he could say what he wanted to.

His eyes widened and his heart dropped thousands of feet in his chest. He hung up the phone, slamming it on the receiver. Finally he knew where Bre was, and Ike was right...she was with Nick.

* * * Nick hung up the phone. "That was odd," he said to himself.

"What was?" Brian asked.

He and Brian were sitting at home getting ready to go play some basketball. The other guys had gone out and they wanted to take the opportunity to hang out since the girls around.

"Someone just called, said, 'what the' and then hung up the phone. It sounded like a girls voice...weird..." Nick sighed, "Oh well."

"It was probably a fan that couldn't believe that she actually called the right number and then got nervous," Brian laughed, "Ready to go?"

"Of course," he grinned taking the ball, "And I'm ready to kick your ass too!"

"Sure, yeah, OK, whatever Nick," Brian sighed rolling his eyes.

* * * Taylor laid on his bed crying, reality had finally hit him. While everyone had been out of the hotel, going on with their busy schedules he stayed inside, he just didn’t have the gumption to go and see people. He had come to the cruel realization that Bre had left him...for good and he couldn’t get her back. He loved her so much and the last thing he would have thought to happen between them was them breaking up. He thought how ironic it was that he was just telling himself that everything was fine and nothing was wrong. He knew that he wouldn’t hear from her for a while either and that only made him feel worse...that she was discarding him. He didn’t know how to categorize his feelings. They were all bunched up to make this one gut wrenching feeling. Finally he realized one last thing. Life brings you up so high, and then pulls you down, way down.

* * * One of the store workers at Armani showed Leigh-Anne and I some of the most beautiful dresses and outfits I had ever seen before. Leigh-Anne had finally picked a clingy red dress that showed off her perfect figure. There was hardly any back and the front had a wide slit cut in the stomach and a VERY low v-neck, it was obvious she couldn’t wear a bra. On the dress were blue, white and red fireworks made of sequence. The dress just touched the ground and her red high sandals made her look thinner, if that was possible. I had picked something more conservative and more my age. I had a tube top that was blue and came down right under my chest. Hanging down from the shirt were strings of sparking beads that covered my stomach scarcely and moved as I moved. Red and white fireworks glistened on the top, sparkling more then Leigh-Anne’s because mine were made of a glittery texture. My skirt stopped half way up my thigh and hugged my hips. It was white and had red and white fireworks to match the top. I wore the same high sandals as Leigh-Anne did.

We looked into the mirror and laughed at ourselves.

“We match and these are a must for tonight,” Leigh-Anne laughed.

“I love this, it is so me! I have to wear it!”

“Look at this top! I love it, you have such a cute thin stomach,” she smiled at me moving the beads.

“I think not, but I do love the top!”

“OK, we’ll take these and then go get our hair, makeup and nails done. Then we will meet up with the guys at the house so we can catch the limo. I will call them now,” she stated.

* * * Liz had wondered where Bre was. She had called her house and her mom said she wouldn’t be home until Tuesday. When she called Bre’s cell and beeped her she never got a response, that’s when she knew it was time to call Lynn.

“So you never heard from her when you called her either?” Liz asked wearily.

“No but I found out where she was. Are you sitting down?” Lynn sighed.

“Yes, what’s going on?”

“She left...with Nick Carter. I’m pretty sure that they had been seeing each other for a while now, just as friends. But she did leave with him, and I am pretty sure things between her and Taylor are done with and she is with Nick now. Just like that Liz, I feel so bad for Taylor, I mean I pray for him every night.”

“God, why? I hope she calls soon, I mean I want to talk to her...”

“We all do, but I have this feeling, she doesn’t want to talk to us.”

Liz slammed her head back against the wall, trying to numb the pain she felt inside.

“What’s happening Lynn? Seriously, what is happening to the six of us? We were so close and now. Now Bre left us for the Backstreet Boys, I don’t have Ike cause I was a slutty asshole and you...” she stopped.

There was a long silence, Lynn never did talk about her and Zac’s relationship much anymore.

“Zac and I are just, well...Zac and I. I don’t know Liz. We love each other but at the same time we don’t. I just can’t figure it out anymore,” Lynn cried.

“What do you thinks going to happen?”

“To be brutally honest I don’t know, and I don’t really want to know. I’m not going to Connecticut, I am staying with the guys, that’s all I know as of now. My parents could give a fuck what I do. I know they hold a grudge with me now...and I mean Bre’s mom didn’t like Taylor, so she is probably beaming that her daughter is with Nick Carter. I mean UGH!! I do think that you and Ike will get back together though, honestly, he can’t live without you.”

“I’m pretty sure I blew that Lynn. How has he been anyway?”

“Secluded, depressed, and angry. Him and Taylor just seem so awful and Zac leaves the hotel every second he gets. Sometimes he doesn’t come home at night and I worry so much, but he doesn’t talk to me about it anymore. Diana left to Tulsa this morning without telling the boys, she had to get Zoe and the rest of the kids home, she knew the boys would all blow at any minute. Walker is WAY to busy with all the business work that he sometimes doesn’t come home to the hotel. He could give a fuck about the boys, he is too busy worrying about their career. I don’t know Liz, I just don’t know. And I am so busy trying to locate my best friend, I forgot about my boyfriend, if either of them are even worth it.”

Liz sat silent for a few moments, trying to take in everything she just heard. Fame was NOT all that it was cracked up to be in the beginning. She was glad she was home, but at the same time she wished she was still there to try and set things straight.

“Listen Lynn I hate to cut this short but I want to go. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, but I just took in a lot of new information, and I just need to go sit and think for a while. I’ll see you around someday,” she cried.

“Yah, OK. Tell your dad I love him.”

“Bye,” Liz said hanging up the phone.

She slid down the wall in the room and then threw the phone across the room in rage. She heard glass shatter and stood up wiping away some tears. She had broke the most recent picture of her and her father together, the last picture she would ever have of them together. She stepped back widening her eyes. She knew what it represented, her shattered life. She covered her mouth and ran to the bathroom.

* * * Lynn sat on her bed biting her tongue to try and stop the tears. The last she knew Zac left to go somewhere, anywhere. The two of them had gotten into ANOTHER fight, it seemed like fighting was the only thing they were doing anymore. She didn’t tell Liz that though, she didn’t want anyone to know, she was to embarrassed to admit that her “perfect” boyfriend wasn’t too perfect anymore and neither was she. When she heard a knock on the door she just fell back exhausted.

“Come in!!” she yelled.

To her surprise Taylor walked in with a tear stained face. He just walked over to her and laid down in her arms crying into her shoulder. She wrapped her arms tighter around him and kissed him lightly.

“You went through my stuff, I know,” she cried.

“It’s over Lynn, all over. I am so helpless and lost. I’m nothing without her, she was my better half. I love her and she loves him,” he cried so hard he was losing his voice.

“I know sweetie, it’s hard for me too. She left all of us and I just want to hear from her too, but she will call, I promise,” Lynn coaxed.

“Can I just stay here, please?” he practically begged.

“Yeah, Zac’s not coming home tonight, I know he’s not,” Lynn cried harder at the thought of her boyfriend not being there and her best friend’s ex in her arms.

Taylor didn’t hear her, he was already asleep. She just sighed and wiped away more of his tears and kissed him once again, she didn’t know what was happening.

* * * Leigh-Anne and I were ready to leave when we pulled up to the house at 8:00pm. The limo was there waiting and so were the guys. When we walked inside I could tell Nick was about to blow up because we took so long, but he stopped himself. His eyes widened and he just looked at me, quickly wrapping me in his arms.

“You look so gorgeous, what did I do to deserve such a hot girlfriend?” he smiled, “Good choice.”

“Your not so scruffy yourself Mister,” I grinned. He had on a normal suit in a deep blue that brought out his eyes and his hair slicked back like I liked it, with a few hairs falling to his face.

Everyone got into the limo and we were on our way. I laid my head on his shoulder and just smiled.

“Now you’ve gone through this right?” Kevin asked me.

“Of course,” I laughed, “Just, is Nick going to be with me? Or are we not an item, just friends. I mean I don’t really know what to expect tabloid and reporter wise, cause’ trust me, they love me. I am always asked questions, and I don’t know what to say tonight.

“Expect nothing. This party is strictly just record exec’s and artists. There will probably be some kind of paparazzi getting pictures somehow, but they won’t ask questions. But you guys are more then welcome to enjoy yourselves, don’t worry about it,” Brian smiled.

“Perfect,” Nick sighed contentedly.

When we got to the building was totally off the wall. It was a huge old stone building that was just perfect, secluded and high above the public. The driver opened the door and Nick stepped out first, taking my hand and then taking my arm in his. I saw many flashes coming from the bushes and could tell the reporters were already hiding and getting pictures. To them Nick and I were going to make front page.

“First we have to go talk to Lou at the door. Then we can go have fun for the rest of the night,” he whispered to me.

I just nodded my head in agreement. The guys shook Lou’s hand and so did Leigh-Anne. She must have known him since she was dating Brian for a while now.

“Lou this is my girlfriend Breanne,” Nick smiled talking softly.

I felt awkward as he looked me over, as if he was making sure I could date Nick, like Nick was more superior than any of the other group members. Then he dropped the bomb.

“You are Taylor Hanson’s girlfriend,” he stated bitterly.

I burned up and wondered why he said that to me so rudely.

“I WAS Taylor Hanson’s girlfriend,” I snapped back.

Nick knew that I made a mistake by doing that, but he also knew that I spoke my mind. He himself would never want to get into a fight with me, he knew I would win.

“I haven’t heard any rumors of trouble in paradise with you and Taylor,” he said coldly.

“Because there aren’t snooty people like you that butt into our lives, and I don’t think you should be butting into Nick’s and mine like this. You need to chill out a little and trust me!” I yelled softly but strongly.

“I don’t need a little girl like you ruining Nick’s career,” he said angrily, “Nick’s my popular group member.”

“Oh my God! You are such an ass..” I was quickly cut off by Leigh-Anne.

All the guys couldn’t believe how I was sticking up for myself and Nick. Nick just bit his lower lip, knowing he couldn’t say anything, this was his manager. And he knew that he could get into a lot of trouble if he did, but he smiled at the fact that he had such a firecracker as a girlfriend.

“Lou she’s 16 all right, don’t do this. Listen, she has to straighten things out yet, OK? But trust her she isn’t dating Taylor anymore. She won’t ruin Nick, or any of the guys,” Leigh-Anne reassured.

I crossed my arms and looked at him and smiled slyly. Brian grinned widely at Leigh-Anne and laughed at the resemblance her and I had at rebelling. Lou walked closer to Nick and I stood closer to him.

“You can tell them you have a girlfriend Nick, it’s better then them finding out themselves. Don’t tell them her age though, because she’s only 16 and your going to be 18, meaning it will be illegal for you two to be together. They will probably already know though, since she is famous in her own right. Just be careful,” Lou warned.

“Yes I understand,” Nick sighed angrily.

“Good,” he said patting Nick’s back, “Now go have fun in there, smile!”

When Lou walked away Nick quickly rushed me into the dance hall and found a corner table. He sat me down quickly and then held me so tight I could barely breath.

“I am SO, SO, SO sorry. I want to warn you but I didn’t have time to, Lou’s like that. He is just an asshole. I so badly wanted to stand up for you, but I just couldn’t, I don’t have the confidence and courage you do. I mean it’s so stupid about the whole age thing, but I mean I have to do what he says, not like it matters. I love you so much, please I am so sorry, forgive me, please,” he sighed holding me closer.

“Nick at first I was very mad that he was saying that to me, but I stood up for myself. I am glad you didn’t get involved, I like to fight my own battles, and this was between him and I. I know how all of this works, the age thing and all, trust me. I don’t care baby, I really don’t. I love you so much and I am not mad at you I swear,” I smiled.

“Really?” he asked wearily.

“Yes, now let’s go have fun, and dance,” I grinned kissing him as we stood up.

“I’m so lucky,” he smiled as we walked onto the dance floor.

“So am I.”

He wrapped me in his arms and we began to sway to the music. He brushed the hair out of my face and kissed me, in front of everyone. I was a little shocked that he didn’t care he was letting some reporter get pictures, because we both knew they were lurking somewhere. At the same time I just smiled contentedly, realizing how lucky I was. I stared into his eyes, practically getting lost and mesmerized at the same time. We danced to three more faster songs before we went and got drinks. We sat back down at our corner table.

“Hey you know...” I began.

“Bre?” I was interrupted by someone saying my name.

Nick and I both looked. I practically choked on my Vodka when I saw who it was.

“JC?” I asked as he sat down at our table.

Nick pulled me closer to him, I laughed inside at how protective he was over me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“We’re with RCA, remember? Hey Nick,” he greeted.

“Hi,” Nick said coldly. He wasn’t fond of JC, not because he was a member of ‘N Sync, but because he had slept with a 16 year old. And that to Nick was wrong.

“Listen JC, no offense but you are NOT the person I want to see now...or ever again. Once you knock my best friend, and she’s only 16, and you don’t know better...you better just leave me alone now,” I suggested strongly.

“Don’t go getting mad at me for that, please. God, I have enough people who are already. I just want to know how she is, I am really worried,” he sighed.

“Listen, I don’t know JC, please now go,” I urged. I didn’t want to tell him about Nick and I, not yet, but he wouldn’t let it go.

“Why, why don’t you know?” he asked again.

“All I know is she is back in Connecticut and her and Ike got in a big fight. I left JC, I left Friday night. Taylor’s not here if that’s what your thinking, none of them are. I am here with Nick,” I smiled.

“Wait, you mean...you and him? You guys are, you know?” JC asked awkwardly.

“Yes ugh! JC I haven’t talked to any of them! I know nothing and that’s how I want it to be! God, go now, don’t ruin my night,” I begged.

Nick stood up and walked over to JC, “Listen, I am going to say this once. First, I think you had too much to drink. Second, get your ass up and go find another table to piss off, leave us alone,” Nick said angrily.

JC got up and gave a nasty look towards Nick.

“I am surprised your with such a beautiful 15 year old, considering your going to be an adult soon! I always thought you were gay, whatever happened?!” JC yelled.

Nick took a few steps in JC’s direction, he was ready to pop him a few times in the face. But I stood up and stopped him.

“Please baby, it’s not worth it. Don’t ruin tonight, OK? He’s drunk and he is just depressed, he is trying to make himself feel better,” I said staring at him smiling.

He took my hand and led me onto the dance floor near Brian and Leigh-Anne. I gently placed my arms on his neck and he placed his on my hips. We swayed back and forth in each others arms until the song ended. Another slow song came on and Brian cut in.

“Can I dance with Bre now?” he asked Nick.

“Come here Nick, you can dance with me,” Leigh-Anne smiled.

I winked at Nick and wrapped my arms around Brian’s neck, he was much shorter then Nick.

“Are you OK? I mean I am so embarrassed for what Lou did before,” he said shaking his head.

“I am fine, he is just so mean. But I have had lots of people who don’t like me, what’s one more,” I smiled.

“You’ll grow on him, your growing on all of us. At first I thought you were just some little girl, and now you are like this woman who gives off this great amount of light wherever she goes,” Brian grinned.

“That’s so sweet, thank you.”

I kissed him on his cheek and laid my head on his shoulder.

“So I saw JC over there, I heard him to, everything OK?” he asked.

“Yeah, he was just drunk that’s all. I mean I don’t even think he cares about Liz. And I mean he was just trying to get Nick mad because Nick was yelling at him to leave our table,” I sighed.

“There is always the one person,” Brian said shaking his head.

“Yeah I know right, how’s things with you and Leigh-Anne, did you have fun last night?” I grinned.

“Oh and what do you mean by that?” he laughed.

“Are you happy to see her Rok?”

“Oh more then you can imagine, I haven’t left her arms yet tonight. I mean God, I love her so much. She just told me that she had time off too, so I get to be with her for the next three months straight, that just makes me the happiest man in the world,” he smiled widely.

“That’s real great Brian. I hope that Nick and I end up like you two. Your both genuinely happy and that’s what I want to be one day...happy.”

“You will sweetie, you will,” he smiled, kissing me one last time on the cheek as the song ended.

I went back over to Nick and held him tight.

“I suppose you aren’t going to tell me what you and Brian were talking about...” he asked slyly.

“Not unless you want to tell me what you and Leigh-Anne were talking about.”

He shook his head and laughed, he and Leigh-Anne had, had almost the same exact conversation as Brian and I, and he didn’t want to talk about it.

People began piling outside for the fire works. Nick and I found a small grass hill that was away from everyone else. I sat in his lap with his arms wrapped around me. It was a clear crisp night and the chill went right through you. The fireworks began and I watched the sky light up so many different shades of colors.

“Bre I love you,” he smiled looking down at me, “I don’t care what anyone else says about us, you will always be my girl.”

We kissed and kissed for such a long time, not even paying attention to the fire works. I got more cozy in his arms and let him kiss me over and over. I was so utterly happy...life couldn’t bring me down.
Back to Tulsa: A Love and Hate Story
Breon2000@aol.com