This is a collection of five poems I wrote throughout a day. I put them together because they were all written off a personal problem I am having in my life. It's a low point in my love life and the only thing I can do to try and understand how I feel is to write it...so here it is, I'm sharing it with you. Please understand that this is very personal, no names are changed, this is raw but true. Thanks and as always, Enjoy.

Untitled

I hate the way you ignore me,

I love the way you make me feel good,

I hate the way you put me down,

I love the way you mention me.

I hate it that you just want sex,

I hate the feeling I have to give you it,

I love the feeling I get thinking about it,

I love the way you feel about it.

I hate the way you always look beautiful,

I hate the way I can't stop staring,

I love the way you tell me things,

I hate the way I believe it all.

I love the compliments you give me,

I hate the way they are all empty lies,

I love the way you look at me,

I hate the way you fool with girls.

I love the way you make me feel,

I hate the way you make me cry,

I love the way you make me smile.

I hate the way the smile makes me cry.

I hate the way I love you Aub...

Untitled One

I always thought I'd be someone's something,

I always thought you wanted someone,

not just something.

The more I think about love,

the more selfish I get.

The more I think of you,

the more hung over I feel.

I never thought I'd stay alone,

feel so empty...

now it just seems like destiny.

I never thought you'd make me feel alone,

treat me bad.

I guess I never knew you at all,

I must have pre judged,

looked at you from a different angel.

Before I met you,

you seemed so pure,

so sweet,

so caring.

Now I realize my pregnant mind,

was aborted of all those thoughts.

I met you and you were nothing,

nothing I pictured you as.

Yet I risked my reputation,

I risked my heart and got to know you,

and you still didn't take the opportunity,

the opportunity to impress me.

I offered you everything I had,

you just didn't seem to care.

And although you hurt me,

I still care,

because you've become another chapter in my life,

that at this time,

will never be completed.

I guess now,

what's left for me to do

is choke on my own contradictions.

Untitled Two

Why are you changing me?

Why am I loosing my dispostion?

Am I wearing that many faces?

Do I have that many dimensions?

Don't hurt me,

Why are you hurting me?

I don't want to hurt myself,

Why am I tumbling downward?

I'm no longer comfortable,

I'm paralyzed.

Your making my true colors show,

the authentic me,

no more games,

no more artificial me,

no more 'catch me if you can',

Save me...

Stop it,

you're breaking me,

just say something,

silence isn't golden,

not in this life.

This scenario can't end like this,

I don't want you to hurt me.

But if you don't hurt me,

I won't have you at all,

and then,

I couldn't live with myself.

Untitled Three

I was in love,

no I was obessessed.

I thought I loved,

no I lusted.

I was happy,

no I was enthused.

Why does the world have to be so two sided?

Why do opinions have to be so complex,

detailed,

cost so much?

Why does honesty come in small quanties,

yet lieing is spooned out all over?

Why does violence end things easily,

yet hurt so much and cause so much anger?

Why do people try to take the easy life,

and end with the worst?

Why is it the people who try so hard,

that never get anywhere,

whereas,

the people who don't care about life,

they end up with everything?

Is there anything easy to understand?

Will I ever be confident?

How about unselfish?

No I guess not.

I wanted the happy life,

the simple life.

So far I haven't gotten what I wanted,

and have tried so hard.

Then again,

everything you want isn't everything you need,

is it?

I guess I'll never be completely sure,

or definite enough in my opinions,

to completely fall face first in love.

I guess I'll never be motivated enough in life,

to control my feelings for you.

I guess I'll never figure it out,

maybe that's why my life is left,

untitled.

Untitled Four

Who am I?

Why am I here?

Stupid questions,

with no real answers,

then why does everyone ask them?

I guess the magic of my life,

is in the hand that brings It's fate.

How come my life's not making any sense?

I was nestled in normal,

then I got thrown into different.

Why does life have to be like that?

I guess that's another one of those,

pointless questions,

that I am dieing to know the answer to.

Yeah, I guess I'm not ready.

I can only be leased out,

not ready for a price tag,

not ready to be bought and sold.

My efforts are wilting,

and to be honest,

I should have thought about this,

when my efforts were ripe.

Now I have a staring problem,

with everyone else's lives.

I guess I won't understand this either...