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“Mom, mom it’s Saturday!” I yelled.
“I’m well aware of that,” she smiled.
“Can I eat? See I’m all ready except I didn’t eat. Can you drive me to the airport? See, the plane leaves at 1:00am.” I rambled.
“Honey why would I be up this early if I wasn’t going to drive you?”
“Thanks Mom. I can’t believe I’ll be in Europe, at Tay’s hotel by 8:30am. Boy will he be surprised! I don’t know how you and dad manage to do this for me, thanks again,” I smiled again.
My mom turned around to see if I was done and bumped into me.
“I’m done.”
“Bre, slow down.”
“I can’t I wanna get going.”
“Well get your things. It’s 5:30am and I want you to make the plane. God help me if you didn’t,” she laughed.
“I already put my bags in the car.”
She began to laugh again, “Figures, let’s go.”
“I know mom, bye!”
“Bye,” she said giving me a hug and wiping away a few tears.
I knew she was upset but I needed to see Tay. My family had always been a very important part of my life, but for the first time, I needed something that was more then family...Tay. As I handed the woman my ticket I made sure the piece of glass was in my pocket, and it was.
“Have a nice trip,” the woman smiled fakely.
“Thank you.”
I walked through the same gate Tay did. I stood in the spot where we hugged. My memories suddenly came back, and God did they hurt.
“Miss...Miss please move along,” the woman begged.
I continued to walk until I found my seat on the plane. I looked out the window and smiled. Soon I would find myself happy again, with Tay. I put on my headphones and started singing along with my music. Suddenly a girl sat down next to me. Startled I took off my headphones.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“I am a huge fan of Hanson and I couldn’t help but see the Hanson sticker on your CD headphones. Are you going to their concert in Europe?”
“Well, actually I am going to see my boyfriend, but I guess you can say I am seeing Hanson to,” I laughed.
“You know I love Tay. He is so sexy don’t you think? By the way my name is Allysin.”
“I love Tay to,” I laughed, “My names Breanne.”
I glanced out the window, God. I’ve been in all those teeny-bopper magazines, why doesn’t she know who I am? I thought,Then again, it’s better then being hit and getting called a bitch by fans who DO know who you are,I thought again shaking the images out of my head and then looked back at her.
She stared for a minute or two.
“W-Wait a minute. Your, your Tay’s girlfriend,” she said turning red.
“Yeah. You can say that,” I said getting scared she’d hurt me. I backed up a bit in my seat.
“Why aren’t you with him?” she asked curiously.
“Well Allysin. My mom’s pregnant so I had to stay home with her. I’m going to visit him now though. Boy is he going to be surprised, he wasn’t expecting me until tomorrow.”
“You are so lucky. Can I have your autograph?”
“Sure,” I said taking the paper, “But why mine?”
“Because your his girlfriend.”
“So your going to the concert Friday night?” I asked as I handed her back the paper. I was realived she was actually very nice.
“Yeah it’s their first one in Europe.”
“Do you have good seats?” I asked.
“Their all right, could be better,” she sighed, “It was hard enough getting them, so I’m happy.”
“Listen, I know this is like REAL short notice, and stuff, but you are a really nice person. And the way you just took me in like this makes you even more enjoyable. A lot of fans don’t understand how badly they hurt me sometimes, spitting at me, calling me names, and yelling at me. Your not like that though, thank you. I’m sure Hanson would love to meet someone like you. Tay sent me this, I want you to have it. I don’t need this pass since I’ll be back there anywhere. He was just trying to entice me to come. Meet me at the stage door before the concert and I’ll let you in early, OK?” I asked handing her the pass.
She was hesitant, then gave me a huge hug.
“You are the nicest person ever! You know this has ALWAYS been my dream. You making it come true means the world to me. I thought for sure you would be stuck up and snotty but your not at all. Thank you.”
“Your welcome. I would hope I’m not snotty. Just don’t expect to see them too long, you know how it works. I’m a very down to earth person, and I hope to stay this way. I was a huge fan once myself and I know exactly how you feel. I never got to go backstage and stuff, but with my dreams coming true, it only makes me want to have everyone else’s come true.”
“Do you still like their music?” she asked.
“Yeah. But when you hear it NON-stop for like ever and become intimate with them, the feelings toward the music start to change. I am a HUGE ‘N Sync, BSB and Moffatts fan myself. To me that’s WAY good music,” I giggled.
“Their all cool but I mean you are just so lucky. It must be really hectic.”
“You can say that,” I sighed, “But when you get into his arms and get the kiss you have wanted all day, nothing is more worth it. Remember, it’s better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.”
“Yeah. Hold on let me just go tell my mom where I am.”
“Sure,” I smiled.
When she returned I smiled and she sat down again.
“If you don’t mind, can I ask more, personal questions...if you know what I mean?” she asked.
“About Tay and I?” I laughed.
“Yeah...”
“Sure go right ahead.”
“How long have you two been together?”
“Man, a while...probably about 3 or 4 months...even more.”
“How far have you gotten?” she asked in all seriousness.
I was scared by question at first. Not really knowing the girl I didn’t know if I should let known such private information. But something inside me told me I could trust her with my heart, and that it wouldn’t get broken in the process.
“We went a lot further then kissing, if you catch my drift,” I laughed a little.
“How far?!” she gawked.
I realized then that she was like all the other teen, hormonal girls. But still something about her felt good.
“We had sex. Taylor’s not the boy next door type everyone makes him out to be, AT ALL! It’s a stereotype, plain and simple. Anyone that knows him well...knows him WELL. He may look sweet and innocent, candy coated...but he has a wild side...a big one.”
“Really?” she smiled.
“Yeah. He’s down to earth and all, they all are. But man, if he had it his way, he would have sex every night until he dies, and he probably still would then! Then again, all THREE of them are like that,” I sighed rolling my eyes.
“Well that was more then I thought you would tell me,” she laughed.
“Well, I trust that you wont leak out a word...” I said sternly.
“Trust me I wont! So how is he in bed?” she asked slyly.
“He’s fine. He’s how he looks, sweet and loving. SO, SO, SO sweet. Tay makes you melt inside, and out. He always knows the right things to say and do, they just don’t always come out right,” I laughed harder, “Ike’s the romantic.”
“Wow. Tay really is a great guy isn’t he?”
I was glowing in side. A smile that I didn’t expect to form grew larger and larger on my face.
“Yeah, he really, really is.”
“Please fasten your seat belts, we are ready to land,” the airplane choreographer smiled into the microphone.
“Allysin?” I asked as I fastened my seat belt.
“Yeah Breanne?”
“Please don’t tell any of the boys I told you this. Though you might not be able to have time to have tea and cookies with them,” I laughed, “ Just please don’t tell them. And by the way, call me Bre.”
“Sure...Bre. By the way call me Ally. Are you crying?” she asked bending her head to look at my face.
“I’m just so happy and excited. I’m going to see him, I’ve missed him so much. I’ve missed him to the point of pain,” I sighed.
She hugged me tight. “I’m happy for you. See you on Friday,” she smiled again as she hugged me, un-buckled and walked away with her mom.
It was such a short good-bye. I wish I could have talked for more hours with her. Although I had two of the most loving friends, I always found it more enjoyable to meet new and shining faces. I waved good-bye for a last time, until next time.
Finally a taxi stopped in front of me. It was a beautiful day and the sun shone bright as I threw my bags in the back seat. I couldn’t believe I was in London, England of all places. I sat down and enjoyed the sights as the man started driving away.
“Where to Miss?” he asked.
“The Mariot Hotel please.”
“You look young, do you know that Hanson’s staying in that hotel?”
“Yes sir, I do,” I smiled.
“OK, I just figured I’d let you know.”
Although it was warm, I was shaking and for some reason I was unbearably cold. As the cab pulled up to the hotel I was stunned. I was there, I had finally made it to my destiny...Taylor. To my surprise it was only 8:00am. Tay had told me they were sleeping in today, so I imagined he would still be in bed. I handed the man his money as he handed me my bags from the back. Nodding his way I walked up to the desk and placed my bags down, my hands still shaking. Tay had the lady at the desk hold me a key in case he wasn’t home when I came...but he was today.
“May I help you?” she asked looking around noticing I was by myself.
“Yes. I was having a key held for me by Taylor Hanson, room 204. The name was Breanne Bodie,” I said quietly.
She handed me the key. “Shall I ring for him, your early?”
“No thank you. I want to surprise him,” I sighed picking up my bags once again.
“Very well, have a nice trip.”
“Thank you,” I said loudly from down the hall.
As I got in the elevator I hit the button for the very top floor.
“I love you Tay,” I chanted quietly as I almost shook out of my skin. God, was I cold.
“207, 206, 205,” I said looking at the door numbers, “204 I found it.”
I took a deep breath as I put down my bags. I stuck my key in the door and quietly turned the handle. This was it. I grabbed my bags stepped in and placed them down as I closed the door quietly behind me. He must have been sleeping. I placed my coat I was holding in the closet with my bags and walked down the hallway into the bedroom. I stood in the doorway with tears in my eyes. I stared at him for a while, just smiling and crying to myself. His chest moved slowly up and down with his deep breathing. He was sleeping on his back as I moved closer towards the bed. I slid on top of him and gave him a gentle kiss. He shot up and opened his eyes wide.
“I’m here!” I yelled.
“Bre! Oh my God! I love you so much!” he said grabbing me close. I cried harder into his shoulder, it felt so good to be back in his arms.
“I had to come early, I had to see you.”
“You don’t know how happy this makes me,” he smiled widely, “I wasn’t expecting you for hours yet.”
“I love you Tay. Nothing can keep me away from you.”
“Let’s go tell everyone your here.”
“Wait,” I sighed.
“What?” he asked.
I began to ramble on to him about the fan I met, figuring I mine as well get it out of the way first. Knowing that after we go back into our room, I had to tell him about my problem. The only way I would have a good time is if I knew he knew everything.
“That’s OK. I wouldn’t mind to meet her at all and neither would my brothers.”
“Good,” I pushed him down back onto his bed. “Look at this your already almost undressed for me,” I smiled looking at him in his boxers.
He just laughed. I began to kiss his neck hard and he moaned in happiness.
“It feels so good to be like this again,” he sighed.
“It does Tay.”
He ran his hands up and down my back and un-did my bra and then tried to throw my shirt off with it.
“Tay, lets not. Why don’t we go tell everyone I’m here.”
I knew why I stopped. I didn’t want him to see my arms...I knew right then I would really have to tell him after everyone else found out I was here.
“Aww, can’t that wait,” he begged.
“Tay come on,” I said dragging him up and gave him a shirt.
We both walked to the door and grabbed hands. Tay pounded on everyone’s doors and everyone came running out.
“Bre’s here!” he yelled.
Everyone came running up to me and hugged me tight. I felt so wanted and I was happy to be where I wanted to be again.
“Lynn!” I yelled as I have her a hug, “Liz!” I yelled as I gave her a hug as well.
The three of us just embraced.
“We missed you so much!” Liz screeched.
“I’m so glad to see you guys again, I missed you all so much. I’d stay and talk but I am tired and I would like to go lay back down with Tay in OUR room,” I grinned.
“Sure Bre, whatever, you can tell the truth,” Lynn glared.
If she only knew what was about to happen, she would have eaten her own words too soon. I just laughed to cover up the hardening truth.
“Bye,” they all yawned as we walked back into our room.
He sat back on the bed smiling.
“Tay we need to talk, I have a problem, and unless I tell you now we will not have a good time at all,” I said bluntly.
I wasn’t going to mention how I stopped and then started again, because that would involve Nick and the guys, and I didn’t want him to know about that. So I decided to tell him, but not exactly give him ALL the details.
“What’s up? It’s probably nothing a little kiss couldn’t fix,” he smiled kissing me deeply. After a few minutes I pulled away.
“When you left I threw your remo through your window cause’ I was so upset. I went to go get it and I got cut...” I began.
“Yeah? So?” he cut in.
“I liked it,” I said very cautiously.
“What?” he asked, as if he thought his ears were deceiving him.
“I liked it,” I repeated, “My pain and anger came out with it. So since that day I’ve been cutting my arms with this,” I pulled out the piece of glass, which was now a little tinged with blood. “It worked when I did it. But now I am fine and I want to stop...but I can’t. It’s become addictive you know? I NEED to cut myself, for no reason and it hurts now and I want to stop, but I need someone to tell me to, I need a reason.” By this time I was crying my eyes out and Tay pulled me close.
“Let me see your arms,” he said as a shaky cough ran cold through his voice.
I could see the fear in his eyes. My reaction was to back away at first, relieve him from pain, but then I knew this was something he had to see. As I pulled up my sleeves and exposed my arms his eyes shut tight, as not to see the sight. Then they re-opened again. I couldn’t blame him, they were an ugly sight. My arms were black and blue, more so blue and had scabs all over...most of all they were swollen, very swollen. Suddenly he did something I didn’t expect. He lifted up my arms and kissed them, then he and rubbed them gently, taking the glass out of my hand.
“Bre, this is called self-mutilation. I’m gonna help you, OK? Don’t worry. You have to just calm down, please don’t shake. I’m here and I will save you. People do this because they are missing something in their life, but now that your here I think you might be a little better. I won’t let you cut yourself anymore, I promise. But I think the others should know.”
“Do you promise I won’t hurt myself anymore? Tay I just ache, my arms do. I don’t want this but I don’t know how to stop and the pain won’t leave me. Maybe we should tell the others.”
He gave me a reassuring smile and kiss. I felt better in a sense after telling him.
“Everyone’s gonna be right over. I just told them you and I had some things to say. Don’t worry baby, everything’s going to be all right. Your safe now.”
I sat in Tay’s arms holding him tight as everyone sat down in chairs around us. They all could tell the news wasn’t going to be satisfying.
“Guys what’s wrong?” Liz asked being a little hesitant.
“Bre has something to tell all of you.”
“Tay I can’t. I need you to, please,” I cried.
“OK, calm down,” he sighed.
Clearing his throat he began. “Guys, Breanne has a problem...that she can’t stop. She’s been self-mutilating herself and she want’s to stop now, but she can’t. So now we’re going to help her.”
“Bre, girl it’s OK,” Lynn said with tears in her eyes as her and Liz came over to me.
“Bre I’ll be right back,” Tay said standing up. “I need to talk to my brothers.”
“OK,” I cried.
“Ike, I lied to Bre. I told her I’d help her, but I don’t know how. I am so scared myself. I want to act normal and all but it’s so hard to know your girlfriend was that upset...that cycotic.”
“TAY!” Ike yelled, “Don’t say that. She just fell and no one was there to pick her up. Lucky for you I have answers.”
“Don’t you always?” Zac asked.
Neither of them answered Zac. Tay stood staring at Ike wanting answers and Ike didn’t find this easy or reassuring.
“Be normal first of all. Don’t go getting scared. It will make her want to do it again. And lastly, be with her. As long as she knows she’s wanted, loved and being taken care of she will do fine. Plus, now that she is back in the swing of things and in the middle of it all, other things will keep her occupied. It isn’t AS bad as it would be since she just started as well. You know that she just missed us and she felt alone. She missed YOU, that’s why she did this. Now, telling our parents would only make it worse at this point. They would make it a bigger deal and get her to phyciratrist which in her mind would make it worse. I feel I am adult enough to handle it now without actually having to get adults involved in this. Now it’s up to her if she wants therapy...”
“Therapy!” Tay yelled, “I agree with you on everything but therapy? Ike she’s not that fucked up!”
“Tay you don’t understand the situation and your blowing it way out of proportion. Plus I was in the middle of my sentence.”
“Then go on,” he urged.
“I don’t think she needs therapy, but if she mentions it, talk to her about it. Let her know all the options. If she wants professional help let her have it, OK?”
“OK, thanks Ike. This will be a great trip. Even though it started off bumpy it’s better to have, so it will be behind us. Now it will be better, much better. She will be better,” Tay smiled.
“She will, I promise,” Zac said.
“I know,” Tay replied.
“That’s OK. I’m just glad I’m with you guys and I’m glad Ill be able to stop. It really hurt,” I smiled, thinking about what really happened.
“I’m glad you’ll do better to,” Liz smiled falsely still slightly scared.
“So can we move on, please?” I asked.
Knowing not to stretch the topic the both agreed.
“So what’s the schedule like guys?” I asked.
“Today and tomorrow we are going to be taken around and get a tour of London. Monday and Tuesday we can do absolutely nothing and anything since they have two days to rest,” Lynn smiled knowing I would be happy about that.
“Really? Yes!” I shouted.
“I knew you’d like that,” Liz replied continuing where Lynn left off, “Well, I’ll finish. Wednesday and Thursday are full of TV shows and interviews. Which means the three of us can have girl time, For once,” she laughed. “Thursday night they have a should check at the theater and Friday they will be there as well, and Friday nights the...”
“Concert,” we said together.
“Saturday we do nothing. We’ll probably all want to recover though. And Sunday um...” Liz cut off.
“I leave,” I whispered and then raised my voice, “But I am coming for the forth of July and a whole bunch more then I thought!”
“Cool!” they both smiled.
“Guys, you know on the plane I met this fan Allysin. Well, she was really nice and ever asked for MY autograph. So I gave her my backstage pass cause’ I felt bad cause’ she didn’t have awesome seats, plus she loves Tay. I told Tay and he said it was fine and he’d tell his brothers, but just so you know, there will be four of us.”
“That’s fine,” Lynn grinned, “What's one more?”
“Good, she’s really nice, you’ll love her.”
“Cool,” Liz grinned glad that she might meet someone new.
“I love you Bre and you know that. I think that this will get better on its own, without bringing adults into it,” he started.
I sat up startled that he had brought up the topic and sat looking in his eyes.
“What I think we should do is drop the topic. Although this is a very important issue I feel the reason you did it was because you weren’t with us...you were alone. I think that now that your here everything is going to be fine, I’ll make it fine. But I really don’t want to bring my parents and your into it unless it starts again. Now you have to promise me that you will tell me if you feel weird, scared, hurt or lonely and you think you might hurt yourself. Please promise me Bre. God forbid anything ever happened to you...I just can’t shake the thought, I love you to much. I won’t let you be hurt. Now I think if you forget about it and push the thought out of your head and move on things will get better, but if they don’t you just tell me and we’ll tell my parents, OK? Can you promise me that?” he asked grabbing both of my hands.
I smiled. What he just said meant more to me then anything. “I promise Tay. But now that I am with you I will be stable,” I laughed. “I’m safe now.”
“OK, good. I love you.”
“Love you to. The girls told me what we are doing today,” I said happily.
“Oh good,” he said, “What time is it?”
“9:30am, why?” I asked.
“What? Shit! We are leaving in 15 minutes and coming home at noon, tomorrow we leave at noon and come back at 3:00pm and I was thinking about that schedule today!”
“We better get going then,” I urged.
“Yeah,” he said throwing on clothes.
“Wait I have a question. Did you read my book?” I asked.
“Yeah. I thought about it to, and it was so wonderful, Bre you are talented...always telling me I have something I am so good at...you have something to. You may not see it just yet, but you are a writer and a great one at that. And I can bet you all my love that you will become one. I can just see it now,” he said holding my shoulder and moving his other hand high in the air, “You, Breanne Hanson, publishing books, this one about our lives together happy...forever.”
“Hanson huh?” I laughed, “Tay forever is a long time I hope we will be together forever, but forevers hard to hope for. Tay I love you, thanks for everything, thanks for my life.”
“Thank you for the love you have given me. It is better then any gift I could ever receive. I love you,” he smiled.
I hugged him and then looked in his eyes. “I brought our rollerblades,” I grinned.
“You did?” he asked.
“Yeah, and I was hoping late tonight we could rollarblade down to the pool.”
“Oh really now? You know the pool is closed at 9:00pm. We could get caught.”
“And your point is?” I asked with my hands on my hips.
“I don’t have one.”
“Good. It’s gorgeous today,” I said looking out the window.
“Well it is May,” he sighed, realizing that he had wasted the last trillion months on the road, not even knowing what month it was until so sanity, Bre came into his life. “Bre tomorrow do you want to go for a walk on the beach, late at night? Ya know, a date?”
“Why yes Tay. Oh a date, is it that hard to say? Every time we’re together I consider it a date, so tomorrow night would just be us...together, like always...a date.”
He smiled, “We better go downstairs the are probably waiting because we’re late.”
“Yes! I love being late, messing up your schedule!” I laughed.
“Yeah?” I asked turning to her.
“Come sit here for a minute I want to talk to you.”
“OK. Sure, I’ll be right back Tay,” I said crawling to the empty seat by Liz.
“So what’s up?” I asked.
“When we get to the museum can I talk to you outside for a minute?”
“Sure. Is something wrong?” I asked again.
“Yeah I guess. Two things actually.”
“Sure,” I gave her a hug, “I’m here.”
“Thank you.”
I moved back to my seat. Tay put his arm around my once again and whispered to me, “What’s going on?”
“When we get to the museum Liz and I have to talk outside for a minute or two, OK?”
“Sure, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s going on?” he asked a little worried.
“I don’t know Tay, that’s why we’re going to talk.”
“Oh. OK.”
“Just don’t wait up for me. Elizabeth and I are going to have our own tour. She needs someone and Lynn just isn’t the person she can talk to right now. Tay something’s really wrong and I think it has something to do with Ike. Look how far away their sitting,” I pointed.
“I noticed that too.”
I gave him a kiss, “If your brother did anything to fuck up my friend he’s going to be fucked up,” I said giving Tay a girlish smile.
He laughed, “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“I hope not...for your brothers sake.”
We both laughed a little. Tay once again looked out the car window.
“Finally, we’re here...my butt hurts.”
I laughed, “So does mine.”
As we walked up the steps Liz and I stopped and sat down near the bottom while everyone else walked through the doors. Isaac just looked and shook his head with a worried look on his face. I looked at her.
“Liz, you look like a mess. What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s my family,” she sighed looking down with her eyes glassing over, “Yesterday my dad went to the doctor for a check up and he well, he...um...he has Cancer. The doctors say he has a year at the most to live,” she began to cry, “Bre it sneaked up on him. He didn’t have a chance! He didn’t know Bre, he didn’t know! He’s had it for two years now, and no one knew, Bre no one knew!”
“Oh God, I am so sorry Liz,” I said taking her into my eyes crying, “God I can’t believe this, your father was an amazing man, why him?”
“I don’t know Bre, but can I ask a favor?”
“Anything. You name it and I’ll do it.”
“When you leave Sunday can I please go with you so I can go to Connecticut with you. I need to get away from here. I’ll pay for the ticket, I just need to get out of here, Europe. I’m too far from him, I need to see him. I can’t stay here Bre, I have to leave.”
“Elizabeth you are more then welcome to come.”
“Thank you,” she smiled slightly.
“Your welcome. Did you tell anyone yet?” I asked.
“No, I wanted to but I didn’t feel right. I had to tell you first. You knew him more then anyone else here and I wanted you to know, because I knew you would understand. But Bre there’s something else,” she moaned.
It hit me then what she said, about two things being wrong. I didn’t know if this next thing could be worse, but I knew nothing could compare.
“What else sweetie?” I asked.
“It’s Ike,” she frowned.
I knew it, I said to myself being scared of what she was about to say.
“Yeah. What about him? Did you get in a fight?” I asked hoping for a ‘no’.
“I wish. Because silence is only worse. It’s a very weird situation so try to understand. Ike and I have wanted to have un-protected sex for a little while now. We both knew that it’s better that way. We both are HIV negative so we knew we were safe from all sexually transmitted diseases...that wasn’t the problem. Well last night he sort of pressured me in a way. Like he really wanted to, and I mean I did to, but I was unsure, and I was in a very vulnerable state with the news about my dad and all, that I just gave in to him in a way. So we did and I am not mad at him, we’re not breaking up I don’t think. It’s just he thinks that he made me and I think that I scared him last night, so we haven’t talked ONCE not even a ‘hi’ or ‘good morning’ today. So I have no clue what he is thinking. I mean what would I do if I was pregnant? I mean Jesus H. Christ! My dad is on his death bed and I am jeopardizing my freaking health. I am such a hypocrite. I mean I know I’m not pregnant, but I don’t know.”
“Liz first of all your dad is NOT on his death bed and you are NOT a hypocrite. Secondly, you and Ike need to talk. Neither of you will know how the other feels until you confront the feelings that are confusing each of you. If you don’t talk then something that you will regret can happen, a.k.a. a broken love. Both of you love each other too much for something like this to jeopardize your relationship. Talk Liz, just talk,” I urged.
“Thanks. But should I get tested and should I tell Diana and Walker?” she asked.
I sat for a minute. “Yes and yes. You and Ike NEED to talk about getting tested and I think you definitely need to tell them so they don’t loose faith in the both of you.”
She gave me a huge hug. “THANK YOU SO MUCH!” she smiled, “If I didn’t have you I don’t know what I would do. I love ya I hope you know that. How much longer do we have?” she asked as if a great deal of burden was taken off her chest.
“Shit a half an hour. We better get going. If you need me just tell me, OK?”
“OK, thanks again...I just wish this tour would end.”
“Me too.”
“What’s going on here?” Tay whispered to me.
“I’ll tell you later.”
“OK, I just don’t like this,” he sighed.
“Trust me, you’ll HATE it,” I said a little louder.
“Great,” he moaned in a whisper.
“I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m going to see if mom came,” Tay smiled as the elevator door opened showing our empty hallway. As we stepped out Diana and the kids came running up to us.
“Mom your here!” Zac smiled with excitement.
“You bet!” she yelled.
“Diana I could have taken the kids,” I sighed.
“Don’t be silly, their my problems,” she smiled, “How are you doing anyway?” she asked more concerned.
“So much better now that I am with my love,” I said happily with a smile covering my face as I wrapped my arms around Tay.
“That’s good. We are planning to go out to eat at 6:00pm so be ready, OK?”
“Sure,” I smiled as I grabbed Tay’s hand, “Bye for now everyone.”
Tay and I went into our room and I laid down next to him.
“Well?” he asked.
“Are you ready for a long story?” I asked.
He shook his head yes and I began. Many facial expressions were given back to me as I explained the complicated story.
“God how come we are the only smart ones?” he asked.
I hit him with a pillow, “Tay! Don’t say that we’re not perfect either.”
“Sorry.”
“That’s OK,” I smiled, “Anyway they are going to talk to your parents about this, which will include us.”
“God, they have guts.”
“Well Tay I told her to. It’s the right thing to do Tay. Plus, she will need Diana if she is actually pregnant.”
We wrapped our arms around each other.
“Let’s stop trying to fix everyone else’s problems now, OK?” he asked, “Let’s just be ‘us’ for a little bit.”
I smiled and gave him a gentle kiss, which led into deeper and deeper kisses.
“Neither do I and to be honest I don’t care one bit,” as he kissed her so much that she fell onto the bed and he laid on top of her.
“Now do you care what’s going on?” he asked.
“Not at all,” she smiled as she placed her hands around his neck and pulled his mouth to hers, “Not at all.”
“Yeah I think we do,” he replied. “Listen I’m really sorry if I pressured into sex last night. That’s the last thing I would ever want to do is make you feel vulnerable, uncomfortable, and scared. I know what we did last night was wrong and I cannot believe that you might even be pregnant now.”
“Ike, we agreed that we wanted to do it. Afterwards, we both realized what we did was wrong. And trust me I’m not pregnant of all things, but I am going to get tested. I just want you to know that I am not mad at you, we both had equal part in this, please don’t feel quietly. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, I’m sorry. Getting tested will be smart though,” he sighed looking at the ground.
She hugged him tightly, “So is telling everyone, including your parents.”
“I know,” he said softly, “I love you,” he said as he kissed her.
“I love you to.”
“Lizzy what’s wrong why are you crying?”
“Ikey my mom called me last night and well my dad has been diagnosed with cancer and within a year he will die. That’s why I agreed to sex last night. I was so confused it just seemed OK but now I realize it wasn’t and now my dads dying.”
She threw herself into his arms. “What do I do? I mean I talked to Bre outside the museum and she said I could go with her to Connecticut which I am, but I am so confused.”
“I’m so sorry Lizzy. I’m here for you please don’t cry. I’m here now and nothings going to happen. You go with Bre to Connecticut when she goes and you see him. Tell him you love him like I love you, show him how special he is, and most of all stay calm.”
“I’m just so stressed out and I am scared for so many things.”
“Shh, calm down, don’t cry,” he held her tight, “Don’t be scared I’m here and nothing can hurt you now. We’re going to have a fun time here in London and you will be just fine, I promise.”
“I love you Ike.”
“Do you think you can handle talking to everyone now and getting it over with or shall we wait?”
“I can talk now.”
“OK, I will call everyone and tell them to come in here, OK?” he asked.
“Sure,” she smiled.
Ike dialed the number of Zac and Lynn’s room first. After five rings Zac finally picked up.
“What?!” he yelled out of breath.
“Come into our room we need to talk.”
“Sorry, Lynn and I are let’s say wrapped up in each other right now,” Lynn kissed Zac’s neck and made him let out a moan, “Call back in twenty minutes,” he was able to get out before the phone fell onto the receiver.
Ike was determined and dialed again, this time after seven rings Zac picked up.
“Leave us alone!” he yelled.
“Zac, stop having fucking sex and get your ass and hers over here now!” Ike yelled back, “Or so help me God!”
“OK, OK, calm down. Just give us a minute to untangle,” he said slyly.
“Zac,” Ike groaned.
“Sorry, struck a nerve,” he laughed.
“You strike TOO many,” Ike said as he hung up the phone, “Sometimes I hate him,” he sighed over to Liz.
She just smiled as she picked up the phone and quickly told Tay and Bre to come over. Now came the hard part.
“You ready?” she asked.
He breathed in and out a few times and picked up the phone dialing his parents room number.
“Hello?” Diana answered.
“Mom can you and Dad come to Lizzy and I’s room, leave the kids in that room. We need to talk to you guys,” he said quickly.
“Sure,” she said with an uneasy tone to her voice.
Isaac hung up the phone.
“Well, I think I should just get to the point. Though what I am about to say will be blunt and harsh to some, please just save the bad comments until I am through,” he began. “Last night Elizabeth and I did something that we both regret, this being having sex unprotected. I’m sorry to have let you down mom and dad, but we just thought it would be OK. Now when we look back we realize that it was stupid, irresponsible, and wrong. The only reason we are telling you this is because we know that you have to know. There are certain repercussions that can’t be hidden...like pregnancy. This is why we told you.”
Both Ike and Liz held hands tightly, their knuckles turned white from the eerie silence engulfing the room.
“I’m very disappointed,” Walker sighed, “Being the oldest you both should have known better to have set such bad examples.”
“But,” Diana broke in, “We, or at least I am very proud that the both of you told us, everyone. I think you both set better examples, showing what happens when you do blindside. I’m proud of you, and telling us is so much better then not. Because whatever the outcome is of this, I will be more then happy to help now.”
“Thank you,” Ike smiled.
“Wait, I have more news,” Elizabeth began taking a long breath, not wanting to repeat her problem, “I will be returning to Connecticut with Bre. My father was diagnosed with Cancer and he doesn’t have very much time left. I can’t stay here knowing that my family is in pain. It’s hard enough right now. I will return, but I will be taking more trips there as the year progresses, on the account he stays with us that much longer,” she cried.
Diana took her into her arms.
“It’s OK, it will all work out. If you need to talk I’m here. This will be one of the hardest things you ever go through,” Diana said softly.
“All the rest of you better head back to your rooms now and get ready for dinner,” Walker ordered. I knew they just wanted to embrace the both of them in private and talk for a few more short minutes. “It is 4:30pm and I know I said we’ll leave by 6:00pm, but if we can leave by 5:30pm that would be excellent.”
We all walked out of the room silently.
“She didn’t want me to. Plus there are certain things I don’t feel you need to hear from my mouth, yet from the mouths of the people living through it, OK?” I asked.
“Sorry,” he sighed.
“That’s OK,” I smiled.
“What time do you want our little escape to start tonight?” he asked.
I walked up to him and ran my finger down the middle of his chest.
“Late, around 10:00pm,” I whispered into his ear.
He kissed me, “I like that.”
I pushed him down on the bed and began kissing him.
“Not as much as you’ll like this,” I said taking off my shirt.
He stared and went to grab me but I began tickling his sides. He was laughing hard and trying to squirm away, he wasn’t expecting the tickles.
“Stop, Bre stop!” he laughed.
He got out from under me with my shirt and ran into the bathroom. I went after him.
“Tay!” I yelled, “Tay get out of the bathroom and give me my shirt!” I yelled pounding on the door.
“Nope!” he laughed.
“Tay! On the count of three!” I yelled laughing also, “This isn’t funny!”
He opened the door slightly, “Well, obviously it’s funny if your laughing,” he smiled and laughed as he went to close the door. I grabbed him by the shirt and held the door as I pulled him out and pushed him onto the bed.
“This has gone to far!” I yelled still laughing.
“B, Bre what are you doing?” he mumbled.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” I grinned.
“Undressing me,” he said as his voice inclined.
“Well then I am undressing you,” I said sternly.
I took of all his clothes but his boxers. I laughed, “You didn’t even struggle.”
“Well, I liked it. Now give me back my clothes.”
“Come here,” I said walking to the door, still without a shirt on. I held out his clothes, “Come and get them.”
He began to get up.
“Faster! RUN!” I yelled.
He ran straight to me and as he got close I opened the door. Out he went, in nothing but his boxers! I quickly slammed the door behind me laughing hysterically.
“Bre open the door. OK, you won now let me in!” he yelled laughing.
I opened the door and stood in the doorway, still with no shirt. “Why should I let you?” I asked.
“Because you love me,” he smiled.
“OK, that’s a good...” I trailed off.
“Bre? That’s a good what?” Tay said looking at me stare straight in back of him.
“I’m not even going to ask,” Ike said as he walked to his hotel room door. “I go out to get a soda and find you to playing naked games in the hallway. That’s why they make rooms and beds you know,” he said a little red from seeing me with no shirt on.
“But...” Tay began holding one finger in the air.
The door closed.
“Taylor? Breanne?!” Walker yelled, “What are you two doing? Get in that room now!” he yelled.
“Sorry,” she both said turning bright red as everyone came out of their rooms to see.
We laughed under our breath.
Zac, Lynn and Elizabeth stood in their doorways laughing.
“Can’t you do that inside?” Zac asked.
“Shut up!” Tay and I both yelled.
“Diana you will never believe what I just saw Tay and Bre doing,” Walker said stunned.
“I saw dear,” Diana laughed, “I saw the whole thing. Come back in the room now.”
“You find it amusing?” Walker asked on his last straw.
“Quite frankly I do,” she said as she closed the door.
“Your welcome, anytime.”
He just laughed walking over to me holding me tight.
“I love you so much. We have so much fun together. I mean look at what we just did. I love you.”
“I love you to Tay. But we better get ready to go out,” I smiled.
“Yeah your right,” he said as he pulled up his pants.
“T, Tay,” I stuttered laughing.
“You put your pants on backwards,” I laughed.
“I know, I wanted to do that.”
“Oh shut up. No you didn’t.”
Tay finished getting dressed. I was looking for my clothes, better yet my suitcase.
“Tay I wanted to change into something nicer for dinner. Do you know where my suitcase went?” I asked.
“You don’t need to change,” he grinned, “You look fine.”
“Tay I want to, and you did. Now where is my suitcase?” I asked more demandingly.
He gave me the smile he knew I couldn’t resist. The smile that always made me melt inside.
“Tay...what did you do with my clothes?!” I yelled.
He laid down on the bed ready to go with his arms crossed under his head. I got on top of him again and began tickling him.
“Where are they? Come on tell me!” I yelled.
“OK, OK. If you stop tickling me then I will tell you.”
“Fine,” I got off of him and began to laugh.
“You were so worried about your shirt you didn’t notice that with my foot I threw your bag into the bathroom too,” he grinned.
“Tay,” I moaned rolling my eyes.
When he opened the bathroom door I saw my clothes, untouched.
“What? You didn’t do anything to it?” I asked.
“Would you like me to? I can easily take some shaving cream and ya know,” he smiled.
I held him tight. “I say we get that shaving cream, smooth it on you and have some fun,” I giggled.
“OK, lets go!” he said walking into the bathroom.
I grabbed him and he turned around, our faces not far at all. I locked our lips shut.
“Walker! What do you want me to do then, huh? Give me some answers! You can’t just say ‘stop that’! Their not little boys and girls Walker! Their teenagers!” she yelled.
“But look at this! First, we have three EXTRA girls that we are responsible for because the boys NEEDED to fall in love! Then we have Ike and Lizzy, who we need to talk about unprotected sex to because they DID!” he yelled louder.
“Walker those girls are beautiful and so kind! I am glad the boys found them and I love them as my own! They keep them sane Walker, without them the boys would not be them. Walker, Ike and Lizzy came to us, thats why I’m not mad! They did the right thing by coming and talking. Be glad they did, we already went through this with Zac and Lynn anyway. It’s nothing new!”
“I never expected to hear those words from our mouths again for a long time. And look at you, your just happy and freaking laughing!”
“Walker Hanson!” she screamed, “In case you didn’t notice our boys our growing up. They are experimenting and that is normal and all right! I don’t know what time period you are living in but it CANNOT be this one!”
“Well how do you explain Taylor and Breanne in their underwear in the hallway. I’d like to see you cover up that one!” he hollered.
Tears welled up in her eyes. “IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?!! You and I both know there’s nothing to cover up! They were probably sexually fooling around a little too loudly and you just happened to open the door!” she cried.
“You know this is all just getting to confusing for me! I’ve had it! One minute our boys are great people and we say, ‘God they’ll grow up to be great,’ now look at them!”
She stood up and stood right in front of him looking into his eyes, speaking in a low raspy tone, probably because of the tears in her throat.
“Look at them is right. Their teenage, sexually active boys Walker. This is how they act and it will never change. I’m sorry if you can’t handle it any more. If your going to leave then I say go. Go on and walk out of that door. But if you do, so help me God, don’t you DARE and I mean DARE come back here!! I will tell you though, because our kids are growing up is not a very good excuse to leave. You’ll break their hearts, but if you can’t handle the truth then obviously you can’t handle life, and I feel bad for you because you are pathetic. You have been blowing up at them this whole trip and they don’t deserve it. Every little thing they do is wrong and you yell at them. How do you think that makes them feel? They are teens Walker, obviously not good, your breaking their hearts.”
He looked at her, hurt. He realized that she was right and he deserved the pain he got.
“I’m sorry Diana, your right. I just wasn’t ready for the kids to grow up, all six of them. But it is a wonderful thing to watch and I still get to watch four more grow up. I’m sorry that I yelled at you, I shouldn’t have and it was totally wrong. Please don’t cry, I am sorry, so sorry,” he apologized.
She backed up at first but then held him tight, wiping her tears on him.
“Thank you for the apology, but I think you need to apologize to a few others. They didn’t do anything,” she smiled.
“I know, I know their just growing up,” he laughed.
“Right before our very eyes and it is a beautiful thing.”
“Tay, he said he was sorry. Don’t pay attention to it. Pretend you never heard it,” I begged.
“I’ll try. But I definitely won’t let it ruin my night,” he smiled.
“Good, I’m glad. Why don’t we not knock on the door but call them from our room to see if their ready?” I suggested.
“Yeah, I think that’s better,” he said meekly still scared.
I put my hands around his stomach, “Walk!” I laughed.
We began to walk and he was a little shaky, “Don’t shake its all right, really it is. Your dad’s just shaken by the fact that your growing up. All families and parents feel that way sometimes,” I sighed.
“Really?” he asked.
“Yeah. It is totally normal and nothing to worry about.”
I shut our room door, not knowing if what I said to Tay was actually true or not, knowing that my parents didn’t really realize me growing up. Either way it looked as if it made him feel a little better. Tay dialed his parents room number.
“Hello?” his father answered.
“D, D, Dad?” he stuttered back.
“Yeah Taylor. Is something wrong?” he asked.
“No not at all. Um, me and Bre, I mean Bre and I are ready to go so when you guys are then come to the car cause that’s where we’ll be,” he said quickly.
“Sure Taylor. Are you sure nothings wrong?” Walker asked again.
“Yeah I’m sure. I’m just fine.”
“OK, bye.”
Tay hung up the phone. “If having your parents fight about you growing up is normal...then why can’t I handle it?” he asked me.
I just looked into his eyes not having an answer. I gave him a kiss and hug, “Come on let’s go to the car.”
“You all go in, I would like to talk to Tay for a moment.,” Walker sighed.
Tay had a look of fear on his face. We all agreed and left.
“Tay come sit up here with me,” Walker said softly.
“It’s OK, I like...” he began.
“Now!” he said louder.
Taylor scrambled to the passenger side seat in the front.
“You and Breanne heard your mother and I fighting, didn’t you?” he asked.
“Yes, but we were only there because we wanted to ask you guys if you were ready, we weren’t spying or anything, honest,” his voice got higher and squeaked as he talked. Puberty’s a bitch, ain’t it?
“Don’t be scared please. I didn’t mean to yell like that. I guess I’m just not ready for you boys to grow up. I’m sorry I’ve been yelling at you so much and I am sorry you heard that. I love you more then life itself. Your my son and nothing will change that.”
“Apology expected,” he smiled, “I love you too dad.”
They hugged and it was then Taylor knew that his father really did love him. A bond was made at that moment that would never be broken. Many families, fathers and sons have that bond...yet so many don’t.
“Let’s go inside,” Walker said smiling.
“Yeah, lets.”
“Excuse me,” Walker said, “I would just like to apologize to everyone. I know I have been very upset and angry the past few days and I know I have been yelling at you all for every little thing you do. I’m sorry.”
We all excepted and smiled.
“Excuse me for one minute. I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back,” I said.
Tay put his hand on my thigh.
“Tay,” I whispered sternly. “Not now. I really do have to go to the bathroom.”
“Sorry,” he whispered back turning red.
I gave him a kiss on the cheek, “I’ll be back.”
Isaac leaned over as I walked away and whispered to Tay.
“Nice move ace. You aren’t suppose to do that if she’s going to get up. You have so much to learn little brother.”
“Shut up I tried,” he sighed.
“Yeah and you succeeded...to humiliate yourself,” he laughed.
“Alli?” I asked.
She quickly turned around and got the lipstick she was putting on across her cheek.
“Bre?” she asked surprised.
“Yeah it’s me! Hi!” I yelled.
She ran over and gave me a hug. “This is so cool we meet again!” she smiled.
“Yeah, so how are you?” I asked.
“Pretty good, except this lipstick,” she sighed trying to wipe of the pink smudge.
I laughed, “Here let me help,” I took a wet towel and gently got it off.
“Thanks. You wouldn’t happen to be here with..?” she began to ask.
“Oh yeah. The whole clan, all twelve of us,” I sighed smiling.
“Do you think I could meet them, I mean if its not a problem,” she said quietly.
“Of course not. Come on,” I smiled grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the bathroom as she shook a little.
“Everyone, this is Allysin, the girl I was talking about who will be backstage. I just met up with her in the bathroom and brought her out,” I smiled.
She waved.
“It’s OK we won’t bite,” Zac laughed.
She laughed back and turned a little red, I nudged her.
“Hi,” she choked out.
Everyone replied by a ‘hi’ or wave. After she got everyone’s autographs and a few pictures she went and sat back down.
“Well what do you think of her?” I asked sitting back down.
“She’s really nice,” Tay smiled.
“Zac your embarrassing me. Slow down please, don’t eat like that,” Lynn pleaded.
“Sorry,” he moaned.
“That’s OK, just use manners.”
“Your starting to sound like my mom,” Zac whined.
Both Diana and Lynn kicked him under the table.
“Ow!” he yelled, “What was that for?”
“What’s wrong with her sounding like me?” Diana asked.
“What’s wrong with me asking you to do something?” Lynn responded.
“Women are so confusing,” he sighed under his breath.
“I heard that,” they both yelled as they hit him.
“Stop beating me up!” he yelled laughing.
“Well stop making fun of us,” Lynn grinned.
All three of them rolled their eyes and continued eating.
“Your welcome,” Walker said waving as I closed our room door. Tay quickly wrapped his arms around me.
“It’s only 8:00pm what do you wanna do for two hours?” he asked in a whisper in my ear as he kissed it.
“No Tay. I’m sorry but no, that’s for later. Wanna watch a movie or TV? We can lay on the bed together and cuddle. We can be close,” I said pushing my body closer to his, “Real close.” I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t want to be with him...I just knew that all he ever wanted was sex, and I didn’t. I also didn’t want to admit to myself that I was beginning to miss Nick.
“I like that,” he whispered, “A lot.”
I turned to face him and we began to kiss. I ran my hands through his hair. “Let’s watch TV now.”
“OK,” he said pulling away.
“OK, I’m ready,” he said as he stood up.
The clock read 10:00pm. I quickly looked at him. He had on baggy jeans which practically hung off him and a wife beater tank top. We both decided it was to much of a hassle to wear a bathing suit, we could swim in clothes, it didn’t matter since we both knew inside that they weren’t going to stay on.
“You ready? Let’s go,” he said softly.
We rollarbladed quietly out of the door and down the hallway which was lit up by the little lights. The hotel was silent. He began to go very fast down the hall but I caught up. We both laughed as we go into the elevator.
“Going down,” he said in a English accent.
I laughed and he grabbed me rocking me back and forth. I looked up and gave him a kiss.
“Tay?” I asked as I pulled away.
“Yeah?”
“Do you know where the pool is?” I asked.
“Maybe...I think,” he said rolling his eyes in thought.
When the door opened we skated on. We were coming up to the lobby and Tay knew someone would be at the desk.
“Shit,” he whispered, “The pool is beyond that corner.”
“So? We don’t have to go past the desk. Just quietly go around the corner,” I whispered back.
He shook his head and we continued on.
“We did it!” I yelled in a whisper as we got to the pool door.
“Shh. OK, this is a stupid hotel. Look at this they didn’t even lock the door.”
I laughed with him as he opened the pool door slowly.
“So? Don’t worry. Let’s not bother with them. Let’s have our own fun,” he grinned.
“Like what?” she asked wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Well...I thought maybe, well we can go to the pool. We can swim in our clothes, it’s more fun that way.”
Lynn began to smile, “The pools closed.”
“I know,” he said smiling.
“Your so bad, but let’s go!” she said kissing him as the door opened.
“Come on in, you KNOW it’s not cold.”
“I know but I like watching you swim, since your wet,” I grinned.
“Oh really?” he swam over and splashed me.
“Tay!” I yelled, “That’s it!” I jumped in and put my arms around him. He squirmed out and began splashing me again. I went under water and grabbed his feet and pulled him under.
He looked into my eyes and our mouths connected as we floated up. He threw off his shirt.
“It was getting to heavy for me to keep on,” he winked.
I took off my shirt, “Is that what you wanted?” I asked.
“Well isn’t that bra really heavy to?” he asked.
I hit him lightly, “Oh yeah it’s SO heavy!”
He quickly unsnapped it and threw it out of the pool.
“Tay!” I yelled as he got out, “Get back in here so I can kill you!”
“Close your eyes and wait till I say open,” he smiled.
“No,” I said sternly.
“Please,” he begged.
I shut my eyes and after a few seconds he yelled open as he jumped in right in front of me. I looked at him and noticed he didn’t have any clothes on.
“Now you do the same,” he said softly.
“Are you crazy?” I laughed, “What if someone comes in? No way,” I said shaking my head.
“Please,” he whined, “If you don’t I will end up doing it for you anyway.”
“All right,” I whispered into his ear.
I quickly undressed and tossed my soaking wet clothes out of the pool. I don’t know why I stooped to such bad situations for him, but I was really enjoying myself, and I loved the feeling. He quickly pulled me close. I knew exactly where this was leading.
“What?” he asked as he looked into the room, “Oh man, we weren’t the only ones wanting to go in the pool.” She quickly covered Zac’s eyes as she saw Bre and Tay, naked, having sex in the pool. He pulled away.
“Hey come on free porn! Woah look at them go!” he laughed.
She hit him not laughing.
“Hey I ain’t covering your eyes and I don’t exactly like you looking at my bothers dick so don’t cover mine,” he laughed turning to her. She laughed too.
“I don’t like looking at Tay’s dick or Bre’s boobs and I have just lost ALL thoughts of going into that pool,” she said shaking the thoughts out of her head.
“Me too. They better use extra chlorine tonight,” he laughed, “Let’s go up to their room and wait for them.”
“That’ll be a good laugh,” she smiled as they walked away hand in hand.
“Trust me, no one has even come to that door,” he said as he kissed from my ear to my shoulder.
I went under water with him and our lips met as we floated back up. I rubbed his chest down to his knees. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. We kissed and our tongues played in each others mouths.
“I love you Tay,” I said running out of breath.
“I love you too.”
“They better be cause’ I am getting tired of sitting here waiting.”
“Well, I have an idea to pass the time,” he said slyly.
“Let me guess,” Lynn said rolling her eyes as the word sex bounced around in her head, since that was the only word Zac really knew.
“TV!” he yelled.
“Oh wait, that makes two words you know!” Lynn said aloud.
“What? Oh I see, making fun of me are you?” he asked.
“What if I said yes?” she asked laughing.
“This pillow would hit you,” he grinned.
“And if I said no?” she asked.
“Hm...yeah, it would still hit you,” he smiled.
She grabbed a pillow and conked him over the head. He hit back and they both laughed.
“We better not make a mess. Why don’t we hide and listen to their conversation a little and then surprise them?” she suggested.
“I love your ideas. OK, how about the closet?”
“Good choice,” she nodded.
They put the pillows back on the bed the way they were and went into the closet.
“It’s a little stuffy in here,” Lynn sighed.
“Don’t worry. As soon as the door shuts we’ll step out of the closet, OK?” he asked.
“OK.”
They slapped each other five and laughed.
She heard him snoring lightly and it soothed her. But she wanted him up to talk.
“Ikey?” she asked a little louder, “You awake?”
“What? Huh? Oh yeah I’m up,” he said groggily.
“No you weren’t go back to bed. I’m sorry to wake you up,” she sighed.
“No I’m up now so let’s talk. There has to be something on your mind if you woke me up to talk at,” he looked at the clock, “1:00 in the morning,” he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She faced him.
“Well, I did kinda, wanna, sorta talk about, umm, well, what if I’m pregnant?” she asked.
Inside Isaac’s heart stopped and if the lights were on Elizabeth would hate him. His mouth was wide open and his eyes looked like endless pits of darkness. He couldn’t believe he heard her say that. He was so not ready and he really didn’t want a kid.
“Well, that’s very, very, very, very unlikely, right?” he asked cautiously.
knew it. You don’t want a kid and there’s always that chance,” she said with tears in her throat.
“Don’t you dare say that,” he began, “I love you Lizzy. If you were pregnant I would be part of it. I would go down that road with you and I would only love you more. I would never ever be upset...never.”
“Really? Good. I love you and now I can go to bed knowing that you are OK with this. I feel much better...goodnight Ikey.”
“Goodnight Lizzy,” he said to her. “Maybe you can go to bed but I can’t,” he said under his breath.
“What?” she asked.
“Nothing, sorry I was talking to myself,” he said.
“OK, night.”
“Night,” he sighed deeply.
“Go Tay. Fast and quiet, go,” I whispered.
“OK, come on the coast in clear,” he said.
When we got to the elevator Tay pushed the button. Unlike the last time the elevator was taking a very long time to come down.
“Shit Tay. I lady’s coming this way. We’re wet and in rollarblades, shit, shit, shit,” I whispered.
“I’m trying to go faster but it won’t work,” he said getting a little scared.
“Tay!” I yelled in a whisper she getting closer.
The door finally opened and we skated in hitting the button for the door to close quickly. As the door closed she was just about able to look in as she walked away.
“God, that was close,” I said loudly.
“You can say that again!”
“That wasn’t stepping out,” Lynn yelled.
“Well, you tripped me,” Zac said.
“Think again, you tripped ME!” she yelled.
They both turned red. “Have fun in the pool? It looked like you did. Nice rack Bre,” Zac laughed.
Lynn hit him HARD over the head, “Walk!” she yelled.
“Hey we talked about this, you saw Tay and I didn’t...” Zac began.
“Zac!” she yelled as the door closed.
I laughed, “Yeah NO ONE was going to go to the door,” I grinned.
“Sorry,” he laughed, “Hey, but it was funny.”
“Yeah, but let’s go to bed now. I’m tired and we had one hell of a night. I have good ideas,” I smiled.
“Yeah you do,” he smiled, “Especially the sleep one.”
We both laughed as we changed and got into bed as I turned the light out. Thank God I am here, things are starting to get back to normal. Unfornately, why does part of me wish I was still with Nick? I mean God, he’s a friend you know, I don’t think that I should want to be with a friend so much. Oh well, I have Taylor,I sighed to myself moving closer to him.
“But Mom, I mean she just thinks I am a friend, or at least she acts like it...I wish I could get inside her head, but I can’t. Mom the thing is though I love her, I know that it is pure love and I don’t feel bad about any of it, and I don’t care if I have to wait forever for her I will. I mean I refuse to break her and Taylor up because I want her to be happy, I would never do that, I just pray every night fate will bring us closer...since it already brought us together,” Nick cried.
“Nick, are you sure you don’t want to try someone else though? I mean you have only gone out with two people besides Bre, Mya and Crystal...”his mother urged.
“And they were both bitches, used me because I was famous and they were models...so it was NECESSARY I dated them. I never felt love mom, but I do now...I really know I do. I just don’t want to try anyone else...I’m scared mom. What if I do find someone else I think I love and then Bre dumps Tay and I hurt her. I am just so confused and I wish this wasn’t happening,” he sighed wiping away more of his tears, “I mean come on, you know, this hurts so bad, and I can’t explain this, I just CAN’T. I want her so bad mom, SO bad.”
“I know you do Nick, and all I can say is stick with it. Love hurts, and sometimes it hurts more than anything else in the world. But if you KNOW in your heart this is right and this should and will work then deal with the pain. Wanting to be hurt for someone is the first sign of true, pure love Nicky. You know I am always here honey, why don’t you come home for a little before you go to Europe, spend some time with us, maybe you will cheer up,” she smiled.
“Yeah, I think I will make a trip home, I need to see you mom, dad, Aaron, Angel, BJ and the rest of the crew. Oh I didn’t tell you...Bre said she wouldn’t call me when she is in Europe, but where we are staying...the house we are going to be at is only 15 minutes away from where she is. So all I am doing is praying that she will call me and I can tell her so we can maybe get together. I mean Tay can’t know about me so I can’t call her...nevermind. Sorry I am rambling...I am just trying to make sense of everything. I love you mom,” he sighed heavily.
“Sweetie that’s OK, do whatever you need to. I love you to baby, and I will see you tomorrow, OK?” she asked.
“OK, bye mom,” he said hanging up the phone.
“Man Bri, what do we do?” Howie asked as they watched Nick just sit and cry.
“This,” Brian said, “All of you go to your rooms, I want to talk with him.”
They all went to their rooms quietly and Brian walked into the living room, when Nick saw him he was shocked and tried his hardest to cover his crying.
“Bri, when did you guys get home?” Nick asked.
Brian just sat near him and gave him a hug, “Long ago enough to know that your not doing to well,” he said pulling away.
“I feel like such a pussy now, Jesus, life just keeps getting worse for me doesn’t it?” Nick asked himself.
“Things are going to work out Nick, things are going to change. How do you think it went with Leigh-anne and I. I mean don’t think these past two years have been cake for me bro, I mean there have been some pretty ruff times, you guys know that. All I can say is wait it out, see what happens. If you really love her you will be patient.”
“God do I love her, it just hurts like hell, that’s why I am going home for a few days. I wanna see my rents’ and the rest of my family. I think I need to be brought down to earth again,” he sighed.
“Well why don’t you go pack and stuff, most of all get some sleep. Remember if you need anything...and I mean ANYTHING come and get me. We’re best friends and I am ALWAYS here to help you through, we all are. Don’t be afraid, you have never been before so I know you won’t, OK Frack?” Brian asked as he stood up smiling.
Nick stood up, gave Brian one last hug and smiled walking away.
“That boy’s in deep, too deep,” Brian sighed to himself walking to his room.
“I love you Bre,” he said softly.
“Thanks for everything Nick, you mean the world to me,” I said very softly out loud. But inside I said, ‘I love you.’
Back to Tulsa: A Love and Hate Story
Chapter 30
Mail the Author Breon2000@aol.com