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“Yeah,” Tay said peering out the curtain.
All the equipment was set up and the boys were ready to practice...most of all ‘N Sync was with them in the back.
“Now how are we doing this again?” Lance asked.
“Well before we start playing, we’ll let you guys go sit with them and you can talk while we do soundcheck, it will be a little loud...” Zac trailed off.
“That’s cool ‘g don’t worry we know what you mean,” Justin laughed.
“JC you know which one is Elizabeth, right?” Ike asked.
“Yes, the oldest one right, the very pretty one...you pick ‘em good,” he laughed nudging Ike.
That was the last thing Ike needed to hear from his mouth, but he smiled and thanked him anyway. The boys went quiet for a minute to listen to us, Lynn and I jumped on stage.
“It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you, but when we are apart I feel it too,” Lynn and I belted out as we did the dance moves at the same time and laughed.
“Come on Liz, come dance and sing with us...you know you want to!! Plus, it’s ‘N Sync you can’t not! Let’s have some fun before this stupid soundcheck! Even though we would have more fun if it was the Backstreet Boys!” I yelled looking over at Lynn.
“Well if you like them so much then why do you know the moves to, ‘Tearin’ Up My Heart’?!” Lynn yelled and laughed back.
“Cause’ they are awesome too!” I boasted.
“Hey Liz, come on, why don’t you wanna come up?” Lynn asked.
“I really don’t feel like it guys,” she sighed sitting back in her chair playing with her ring.
We all could tell she had been crying from the look in her eyes, and I hated seeing her like she was, it only made me depressed. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do.
“I told you they are obsessed,” Tay sighed, “See what we have to go through? Backstreet this...’N Sync that...you guys ruined our lives!” he laughed jokingly.
They all just laughed in return.
“Why don’t you guys go hide in the hallway. We’ll call you out in a few minutes,” Isaac suggested.
“Sure,” Chris smiled as they walked away and then turned to watch the stage.
Taylor ran up to me and held me tight.
“Hey,” I said kissing him lightly.
He took the chance he got and kissed me back. “I love you,” he sighed.
I looked into his eyes, then smiled slightly, “I love you too.”
“Good then go sit down.”
I hit him lightly, “Fine, be that way,” I laughed.
Lynn and I sat in the front row, getting ready to make the guys laugh and have a good time, while Liz sat rows back just looking at the ground, not wanting to hear the loud music. Isaac signed and prayed quietly to himself, Please let this work,he begged God hoping he was listening.
“Hey we brought a few friends to sit with you out there,” Zac grinned.
Lynn and I just looked at each other and then watched the five guys walk out.
“OH MY GOD!!” Lynn was able to screech out, “IT’S ‘N SYNC, AHH!” she screamed.
I ran on-stage and held Tay tight, “Thank you...although BSB would have been nicer,” I smiled. I just thought about being able to see Nick if Tay actually invited them. Being able to sit with him and talk...being able to have fun.
“Well, it was the best I could do...plus you know how I despise Nick after what he did to you,” he smiled.
Anger filled me and I wanted to burst out yelling at him,What the hell is he talking about?!I asked myself.
“What are you talking about Tay?” I asked.
“Well you know, that night, he made me hurt you and I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry, I just know that you probably wouldn’t want to see him anyway, or any of them,” he smiled and then kissed me, “Now go on, have fun, their nice guys,” he urged.
Who does he think he is? Telling me what I want, he doesn’t know anything...he just doesn’t know, that was SO wrong of him to say. He’s so stupid sometimes...he’s the one who hurt me, not Nick...not any of them...him,I said angrily in my head as I smiled falsely at him and walked away with the other guys.
“Hi,” I smiled as I sat down with them all.
They shook Lynn and my hands giving us hugs.
“We saw your rendition on stage, not bad,” Justin laughed.
“You saw that? Oh God...”Lynn choked out, turning a shade of tomato.
“Yeah, don’t be embarrassed you were just having fun, we all do,” Chris smiled.
“I’m going to go sit back there,” JC smiled, “I’ll see you all later,” he yelled over the loud music.
“Hi,” he said softly sitting next to Elizabeth.
“Hi,” she tried to smile.
“Do you mind if I sit here and talk with you? Their kind of boring,” JC grinned.
“If you want to, I don’t know why you or anyone would,” she sighed.
“Your lucky to be engaged to Isaac,” he said, “He did all this just so you and I can talk, since we are both members of the same club. Isaac called me last night and told me about your father. He said you felt along, and you have no one to talk to because no one understands, how can that be?” he asked.
“Well, no one does, all right? End it, God, no one understands and I am all alone,” she said softly with anger rising in her voice.
“I do. My father died to Brain Cancer just last month. I felt alone and thought I was the only person who this happened to, but I’m not, and neither are you.”
“Y...you’re dad died of Brian Cancer too? I’m sorry,” she sighed feeling bad she had snapped at him before.
“That’s all right. But maybe you and I can talk about this. Besides feeling alone, what is bothering you? What are you afraid of?” he asked, “You can tell me because I’m like you, I know your pain.”
“I’m afraid that, besides Isaac no one will love me when he dies. My dad was the only one there as I grew up. The Bitch was always at work because it was more important, and since she works in New York it’s no better. Everything a mom was suppose to teach me, my dad did. So it’s like I’m loosing a mom and a dad,” she said with tears in her eyes, “Besides Ike I won’t have a family when my dad dies.”
“I was scared too. I was scared that when my dad left I would have no one to talk to, because I wasn’t that close with my mom, but you know what I did?”
“What?”
“See Taylor, Zac, Bre, Lynn, Diana, Walker, and Myself? We’re your new family. Those guys over there are who I talk to now and what I would tell my dad I tell them. And sometimes it’s even better because I have 4 people instead of one.”
She looked at him, “But I can’t let anyone take his place, no one can.”
“I’m not saying you should let them. I’m just saying that you need to start opening yourself up to these people, so when your dad does die, you won’t be alone. Elizabeth your dad’s going to die real soon, and I hate saying this but it’s the truth, your just playing the waiting game. Nothing you can do can save him now, and if you don’t start putting your life together and realizing this your going to hurt yourself inside and out. It’s hard but I did it and so can you.”
“But I feel so bad, that he can’t say, ‘I love you’ to me anymore or even say, ‘good-bye.’”
“Maybe he doesn’t have to though, because you know that inside he did,” he smiled, “You know that, you just won’t tell yourself the truth. Instead your just letting the hurt take over you because it’s the easier way.”
She just looked at him and stared. For the first time she felt she could really talk, she hugged him tight.
“I want to take you somewhere,” JC smiled, “Will you come?”
“Where?”
“Somewhere, let me just go tell the others.
She watched as he got up and took Chris, his best friend to the side.
“How is she?” Chris asked.
“She’s exactly how I was, but she’s opening up. I want to take her to where you go me a few weeks ago, I think it will help. Tell Justin I took his car and tell Ike where we are going, all right?”
“Sure, good luck.”
“Thanks man.”
He helped Elizabeth up and they began to walk away. Isaac looked and burned inside, Chris just looked at Isaac and signaled it was OK. He just felt bad inside that he couldn’t help her like JC could. He really hurt.
“Hey you smiled, just don’t worry about it. We have a while to drive yet,” he sighed, “For now why don’t we just get to know each other better.”
“All right, well what do you want to know?”
“Just tell me about yourself,” he urged.
“Well, I’m 16, and live in Fairfield, Connecticut. I used to go to school at Fairfield High, but not anymore, I’m homeschooled.”
“So then how did you and Isaac meet? And most of all become so close?”
“Well, Tay, Bre, Lynn and Zac went on a little trip to Connecticut for a while and they tried to set us up. They un-set us up, but when I saw him I knew I couldn’t let him go. With time we fell in love, he was just everything I wanted. What’s funny though is he’s everything my father wanted for me too.”
JC just laughed.
“So what about you? I mean I know a lot about you, but do you have a special someone?” she asked.
“Who me? Nah...I date, sure. We all do, but unlike Isaac I can’t settle down, it’s hard. He’s lucky he found someone like yourself, who didn’t like him for fame. I wish I could though, because it’s getting awful lonely.”
“Well I’m sure someday, when the time is right. Your only 21 yet, your young.”
He just looked at Elizabeth, “Yeah I guess I am.”
She stared the stare back as he stopped at the light.
“Oh green,” she laughed looking straight ahead once again.
They began moving again and they both just smiled.
“So how long are you going to be here?” he asked.
“Until Saturday, well really Sunday, but I am leaving to go home.”
“We’re leaving Saturday afternoon, early morning to go to Canada. The guys are having a concert tomorrow night, right?”
“Yeah, I heard you guys were too.”
He quickly reached into Justin’s compartment in his Mercedes and pulled out three front row tickets.
“Now, Chris where did they go?” Isaac asked.
“They went to the place I took JC last time,” he said softly.
“He did?” Joey asked.
“Yeah, but I kinda think he took her so he could go again too,” Chris sighed, “Which is good because he could use it.”
“What is this place?” Isaac asked again getting a little mad he didn’t know where his fiancé was.
“Calm down, I didn’t tell you earlier because I knew that you wouldn’t want to come. Chris brought me here last week. Everyday the hold sessions for things like a family death. This is going to show you that you aren’t alone, and your not the only one feeling this way. Plus, it gives you a chance to open up. I was scared my first time too, but I left feeling so much better and a smile on my face. I’ve gone twice, this being my third and it helps a lot, trust me. I’ll be right by your side telling my story too.”
Elizabeth just looked at him and got out of the car, she knew this was the best thing. He quickly locked the doors to the car.
“You ready?” he asked.
“W...will you...will you hold my hand? I’m really scared,” she said crying a few tears.
He grabbed her shaking hand and looked at her, “Calm down, everything’s going to be just fine.”
They both just walked in the doors. She didn’t know what she was feeling. It was a mixture of relief, fear, and sadness. In any case she was going to do this. Then she realized what she had done and looked at her hand, the ring...her hand with his. He’s just a friend, a real good friend, who saved my life. This is OK, we’re holding hands as friends, because I love Ike. If it wasn’t for him I would be doing this,she said calming herself down.
“Chris, I’ll be right back, I just want to go get some fresh air,” I lied smiling.
“Would you like some company?” he asked.
“No thank you, I’ll be fine,” I smiled.
“OK,” he grinned.
I got up and walked out of the venue. Making sure the coast was clear I sat down outside and pulled my cell phone out of my purse. I needed to call, after what Tay had said I needed to talk to him, ask him something.
“Hey, this is Nick, wanna talk?” he answered.
God is it good to hear that,I smiled inside.
“Hey Nick, guess who?” I laughed.
“Bre! Hey, I wasn’t expecting another phone call until like, another week,” he laughed, “I’m so glad to hear your voice.”
“I’m so glad to hear yours too. I have to keep this REALLY short because I am at a soundcheck right now with Tay but I just said I wanted fresh air so I can talk to you,” I sighed, “Soon, I promise, I hate sneaking around like this. I just don’t want to tell Tay that I am best friends with you, because I don’t know...I know he will get upset, you know how he is.”
“Yeah I do, don’t worry about it, I’m fine...as long as I get to hear your voice and see your face occasionally. Anyway, before you go I just want to say that I watched Rosie with my mom and the guys watched it to. You were really great, the way you handled yourself in front of all those fans. I wish I could have killed them, you deserved so much better. And I didn’t know I was your favorite Backstreet Boy,” he said slyly.
“Thank you, I wish I could’ve killed them too. Of course your my favorite Backstreet Boy Nicky. Everything I said on that show was true, your really a great best friend. I was hoping you would get all I was saying,” I giggled.
He sighed a little, wishing that he was more than a ‘great best friend’ but he wore the title with pride.
“When I heard you say that stuff I was like, ‘God is she great’,” he laughed.
I just smiled and laughed, he always brought me back up.
“Well I should be going, but Nick?” I asked.
“Yeah?”
“Would you ever hurt me?” I asked.
“NO! Of course not, I would never do anything to you to make you cry, I hate to see you in pain and you know that! Why would you ask such a question?” he asked confused.
“I don’t know, I’m just going a little crazy here that’s all,” I laughed, “I guess I just wanted to hear you say it.”
He just smiled, “I’ll say it again and again, just to hear your voice more,” he gushed.
That’s all it took for me to know that Tay was lying. Nick was never the one that hurt me, he only helped me...Taylor was the one that hurt me. I knew Nick to well then to think he would hurt me, ever.
“Well, I have to go, I will see you soon, I promise. I love you,” I smiled.
“I can’t wait to see you either, I love you too,” he said happily.
“Bye,” we said together as we clicked off our phones.
Both of us just smiled and sighed in relief after hearing each other...but for different reasons...we think.
“Now before we leave here I want everyone to say one fun thing their going to do tomorrow, this way, like we talked about, your stress will be released at least once,” the counselor smiled.
The five people went and it was JC’s turn.
“I’m going to put on a concert tomorrow night,” he smiled.
Everyone nodded and looked at Elizabeth. She watched all the fixed eyes on her and then realized, there was only one thing she could say.
“I’m going to an ‘N Sync concert tomorrow night,” she said slowly.
“You are?” JC whispered.
“Yeah, I am, I’m going to keep the tickets,” she smiled back.
After the session ended Elizabeth and JC walked out to the car laughing, still hand in hand.
“Thank you so much, I haven’t have that much fun in a long time. I mean last night at the proposal, that was happiness,” she smiled.
“No problem, I enjoyed it too, especially the company,” he laughed.
Elizabeth began to run her way to Isaac and she ran straight into his arms. He lifted her off the ground as he kissed her softly.
“Isaac I have never felt better. Thank you, I love you. If you hadn’t done this I don’t know what would have happened,” she smiled.
Everyone just watched them hug and kiss until Elizabeth looked at everyone.
“Guys would it be OK if Bre, Lynn and I went to an ‘N SYNC CONCERT TOMORROW NIGHT, since they gave us, FRONT ROW TICKETS!!” she yelled.
Lynn and I both let out a scream. I hadn’t been to a concert and sat in the front row, let alone go to one besides a Hanson concert. Plus, this would be much more fun then sitting backstage.
“Are you serious Liz?!” Lynn asked.
“Yeah, we want you to come,” Chris smiled.
“Sure, why not, you’ve been with us enough,” Tay smiled even though he really wanted Bre to be there for his first concert in Europe.
Elizabeth just hugged Ike once again.
“My counselor said the more fun I had the better, and this will be fun!” she smiled.
“No problem,” he sighed.
“Well we should be going, we’ll see you tomorrow,” Joey smiled as they all waved and began to walk away.
“Wait! JC!” Elizabeth yelled running up to him.
“What?” he asked.
“Do you think Saturday we could go for another session?” she asked looking up at him.
Isaac just listened to her and stared a blank stare.
“Sure and here’s my cell and beeper number if you need me,” he smiled.
His number? That doesn’t seem right,Isaac thought.
“Thanks I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” she yelled as they left.
“Lynn did any of that seem right to you?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she sighed as she saw Ike look at her with the piece of paper in her hand.
“Ready to go home?” he asked grabbing her hand.
“Sure am,” she smiled kissing him and tightening her grip.
“Well are you going to join me?” she asked.
“Lizzy, we need to talk,” Ike sighed.
By the tone of his voice she got nervous, he sounded upset and she quickly sat up.
“Ikey? What’s the matter?” she asked.
“Lizzy, I asked you to marry me yesterday and I’m nervous. I know I’m going to be a little jealous of JC because he’s helping you, but I’m uncomfortable. It seems like you two are a little too close. I don’t want to loose you and it’s not that your not coming to the show, it’s just Saturday’s our last day together and I thought WE could be together. And well...you made other plans,” he sighed disappointedly.
She quickly took Ike into her arms.
“Listen to me, your my life. Isaac I would NEVER do anything to hurt you. See this ring? It means the world to me, and I am SO excited that I can be with you for the rest of my life. You have to trust me Ike, that’s what love, relationships and marriage is all about. JC’s a great guy...as a friend. On Saturday the is only a half an hour long, until 8:30am. Don’t worry about it, we will have the whole day to spend together. I would never waste a day with you...never,” she smiled kissing him. “Isaac, I love you. Besides my dad your all I’ve got, or so I thought. I realized today I have other people I can count on for support, but your the only one I have to love and the only person I have to TRULY love me back. Knowing one day that we will get to make babies and walk down the isle, it just makes me so happy. I know that you gave me a second chance, your letting me start over again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you...no one else Ike...no one.”
He just grinned, that’s all he needed to hear. Those few words meant the world to him. He began to kiss her lightly on the lips and then they locked together for good. Their hands clasped as they laid down on their bed. Her ring glistened with sweat like her eyes glistened with tears of joy. It was going to be a good night.
“I love you,” he smiled.
“I love you too,” I said dryly, trying to show the least bit of romance. I wasn’t in the mood to talk with him after what he said.
I didn’t know why I was reacting the way I was about the whole thing, all I knew was that missed Nick and I wanted to see him so bad. I was really beginning to hate my time here, and hate the people I was around. Most of all I finally realized that when I used to show my emotions Tay would instantly know and care, hurry to my side. Now, I was clearly showing my emotions, painfully, and he didn’t even notice. I didn’t think he cared.
“Are you mad at me?” Zac asked.
“No.”
“Can we talk?” he asked again.
“Sure, about what? That’s my problem Zac, we have NOTHING to talk about.”
“Would you like me to make you mad so we HAVE a problem to talk about?” he asked, “Lynn I know that our relationship has been put aside, I guess you can say. I mean we don’t have marriage, sex or fights, but sometimes that’s better. The best talks involve no talking at all,” he took her hand, “All we do is hold hands. Look at me, look me in the eyes,” he smiled.
She quickly looked and grabbed his other hand.
“I love you and we have learned through all we’ve gone through that our love is pure. We don’t need a ring or condom to prove that,” he said quietly.
Lynn just smiled and began to cry. “No we don’t, I love you to.”
He wiped away her tears and gave her a kiss.
“The condoms wouldn’t be bad though,” she laughed.
“No they wouldn’t,” he laughed back, “You better get some sleep Miss, tomorrow you and I have big days.”
“Yeah, I know. But I don’t wanna go to bed, not until we use one,” she grinned.
He just gave a half smile and pulled the blankets over them.
Back to Tulsa: A Love and Hate Story
Chapter 34
Mail the Author Breon2000@aol.com