|
|
"It's been a while since we've done this," Lynn smiled.
"Yeah I know, but before we know it all three of us are going back to Connecticut for a month, we'll be sick of each other by then," Liz laughed.
We all agreed, I wanted so badly to tell them about Nick and I. How much of a friend I saw and had in him, I just wanted to talk about him. The truth was I wasn't happy and I wouldn't be unless I was with him and saw him. Sitting with these two girls, that still were my best friends didn't make me feel as good as I did when I was with Nick. But I knew that if I didn't talk and looked glum then word would get out and my secret, better life would no longer be just mine.
"So how's you dad Liz?" I asked.
She put down her sandwich and looked out the window. Something came over her and swept her head to the side, making her sigh heavily.
"Sorry," I sighed, "Slap me, I'm so stupid.
Truth was, I really wanted to know if he was all right, and I wanted her to talk about it, but like everything else between the three of us, nothing was said. We each had grown up and time was beginning to give us three separate lives that we didn't want to discuss.
"No don't say that, I don't wanna talk about it though. I talk to JC, he's my outlet. Thank God I have him."
Lynn practically choked on her food, while I just sat there, nothing seemed to really phase me or shock me anymore. I knew it was coming.
"What? Liz what about us? Ike? Thank God you have IKE," she stated.
"Yeah I know, I know. I love Ike," she smiled, not giving the sentence very much feeling, "I can't live without him. How's things with you and Zac? You haven't been very busy."
"What do you mean by 'busy'?" I asked, "Cause' they were testing the latex last night," I laughed harder.
"What the?" Lynn choked out, "How do you know THAT?!" she yelled.
"Thin walls, loud moans, ya know. Plus hotel sex and makeup sex are always the best," I grinned.
"And how would YOU know?" Liz smiled.
"Well, Tay and I have never had makeup sex, but every kind of sex with Tay is good, I could only imagine the makeup sex," I smiled fakely.
I didn't know if we would have makeup sex, I didn't know if we would need to, or if we ever would have sex after a point...I just knew that Tay liked sex, and to keep him quiet I gave it to him. I knew he loved me, but this week he hadn't really shown it, all but once on the beach.
"OK, we better go now. I don't think those people want to hear about this," Lynn sighed, "I'll pay."
"OK," Liz and I grinned.
She just shook her head and put down the money, "My man always keeps me loaded," she laughed, "Shall we go concert shopping?" she asked.
We all smiled and walked out.
"You NEED a new outfit for an 'N Sync concert," Liz laughed.
"Do you think their OK alone?" Tay asked, really worried about his girlfriend's well being since they were on Rosie.
"Their big girls, they can handle it," Zac laughed.
"I just miss them, you know telling us what to do," Ike smiled.
"Well get used to it because their going to be gone for a while in Connecticut," Tay sighed, "Even worse."
"Boys are you done? Good, move it!" Walker yelled.
They all grudgingly got up and walked to their instruments
"This blows," Tay moaned under his breath, he knew something wasn't right between Bre and him, he just couldn't be man enough to bring it up.
"I say we change and get all our makeup re done in a bathroom and then get a little something to eat and then hurry to catch a cab because it will hopefully be 7:00pm when we get to the arena."
They both agreed and we headed to the nearest bathroom in a hurry.
"Justin do you think tonight will go all right?" Joey asked.
"Yeah, chill out man. Hey where's JC?" he asked.
"I don't know he never came back to the hotel last night and he's not here yet," Joey responded walking out of the room, "I think we lost the lead singer blondie."
"Shit," Justin said quietly running down the hall backstage, "SHIT!" he yelled louder as he neared Chris' dressing room. He swung the door open, knowing Chris and JC were close he would ask him.
“Hey, where’s JC?” he asked angrily.
“I don’t know, ain’t he wit you?” Chris asked.
“No,” Justin sighed wearily as he told Chris about his never coming home.
“Justin, chill out, OK? Just go finish getting ready with everyone, don’t worry about it,” he lied knowing something had to be up.
Justin just nodded his head and left the room. Chris got right to work beeping JC when he never beeped back he called his cell phone.
“I’m on my way in Chris, I’ll be in your room in a sec,” JC said flipping off his phone and walking in Chris’ room.
“Where the fuck were you?!” Chris yelled.
JC threw down his bag and sulked low into a chair covering her face with his hands. Within moments he was gasping for air because he was crying so harshly. Chris walked over and sat down on the floor near him.
“Man what’s wrong? What happened?” Chris asked, “Why weren’t you home? Where were you?”
“Stop asking questions!” he screamed, “Damit!” he yelled standing up and punching the wall.
“Sit down and talk, please you need to get this out before the show tonight,” Chris sighed.
“OK,” he said calming down and breathing deeply, “Chris last night I couldn’t come back because I needed to sort things out. I realized that I’m 21 and well...I have feelings for Elizabeth. I have feelings for a freakin’ 16 year old!! OK, She is engaged, has Isaac Hanson as a fiance and thinks of me as a mentor. She thinks I’m like a big brother...but everytime I see her I get these feelings, that I love. Chris I am setting myself up for pain and I am SO pissed at myself because I won’t push away these feelings. I mean this is WRONG and like ILLEGAL in a sense! I like her Chris...I can relate with her, she makes me feel good, we have a connection,” he smiled.
Suddenly Chris brought him back to planet Earth.
“JC you and I both know that this would NEVER work. I know your feelings are strong and pure but their also morally wrong. I also know you can’t stop them but you HAVE to fight them. Unfortunately the only way you can get rid of this pain and aggravation your going through is to go through MORE. You have to tell her what you just told me, then you’ll have to listen to her answer. Which will be a ‘JC I don’t feel the same, it could never work’. JC she’s TOO young and TAKEN, bro I’m sorry but this is what you have to do,” Chris sighed heavily.
“Chris, thanks man,” he said hugging him, “Oh and Chris?”
“Yeah?”
“Please don’t tell the others.”
“Sure man.”
“Thanks,” he said closing the door.
Chris just through his head back and looked in the mirror, “Damn I feel for him.”
“I’m so excited to see JC again. I wonder how he is? He is probably so excited,” Liz beamed.
“I bet Ike’s excited too,” Lynn hinted.
“Uh? Oh yeah...but anyway I hope JC is happy to see me,” she said eagerly.
“Liz,” I said not being able to take it anymore opening the door to the car, “Do you have feelings for JC?”
Her and Lynn quickly looked at me.
“Well do you?” I said very angrily.
She just looked, knowing that she did, but loved Ike, and knowing she lied about it to Ike last night.
“Yes...”she said softly, “I tried to talk myself out of it, but I can’t. Worse I lied to Ike about it last night, I mean I don’t understand myself and it hurts so bad. How can you love one person so deeply but still be attracted to another?” she asked with tears n her eyes.
We sat down on the curb and Lynn held her tight as I talked.
“Your just considering your options. I mean Ike is your first love and it will become marriage. You love Ike but have feelings for JC, but Liz you can’t because JC is 21 and that’s just not right. Plus look at Ike,” I tried to talk making as much sense of the whole situation as possible.
“It’s like I love Ike and I know that, and I do want to marry him. It’s just that I have these feelings for JC and their in the way, I want them gone, kaput,” she sighed.
“Then you have to tell him how you feel. When you do he will say something like, ‘Liz sorry but I don’t feel the same way’ or ‘We can’t, look at the age difference’ ya know? Then you can move on to better things, like Ike,” Lynn convinced.
“But how do I know JC wasn’t ‘the one’ and Ike is?” she asked.
“Do you feel the same way you do towards Ike as you do towards JC?” I asked.
“No...” she trailed off, “I love Ike.”
“Well there you go. Now come on it’s only 6:45pm and we have extra time so you can talk to him,” I smiled.
“Yeah,” she gave each of us a hug, “Thanks, I love you guys.”
“We love you too,” I smiled.
“Where the hell is this girl?” he groaned.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door, he opened it slightly noticing it was her and a friend. He opened it fully and put on a fake smile.
“Hi Ally!” he greeted, “And who might this beautiful girl be?”
The girl blushed.
“This is my friend Meg,” she said shakily.
“Well hey Meg, any friend of Ally’s is a friend of mine,” he lied.
Both girls just giggled.
“We don’t have much time...so why don’t we go find my brothers, you can meet them and we’ll give you some autographed stuff and your tickets. I just want to thank you for being kind to my girlfriend. You will have to find your seats soon though,” he smiled at the thought of the concert ending.
They walked into the dressing room and he greeted the both of them to his brothers, but they seemed to only care about him.
“Who’s that in the picture frame on your table Tay?” Meg asked.
“She’s his girlfriend Bre, remember? I told you about her,” Ally cut in.
“Ohh,” she said disgusted.
“Don’t sound so thrilled,” he laughed really burning inside, and taking back what he said earlier.
“Well she’s not that pretty, and not that skinny, and not that blonde, and doesn’t have blue eyes...you could to better,” Meg added.
Taylor fumed but kept a decent composure, he handed the girls their stuff, said goodbye and pushed them out closing the door quickly behind them.
“She was SO ugly,” Meg said still surprised.
“They all are! But I do what I have to do to get what I want,” Ally grinned evily.
They both just laughed.
“Their probably just little flings, they won’t last long. They’ll realize how non-hollywood those girls are and drop them like flies. Their probably bitches using them for fame anyway. I mean did you see Rosie? Can we say, whore?” Meg laughed rudely.
“Yeah I know, that Bre girl, the one I met on the plane, his girlfriend. She is a total ditz! She atually fell for my act and told me all about their sex life, that’s how I have all that juicy gossip to tell the magazines. I say we go try to find 98 Degrees and get some gossip from their girlfriends, I mean these guys are dykes,” Ally snickered.
“Yeah,” Meg sighed back, “What do we do with these?” she asked holding up the tickets.
Ally took out her lighter, took the tickets and set them on fire. They both just began laughing hysterically, “Some teeny bopper could’ve had REALLY good seats,” Meg laughed.
“Aww, too bad!” they both screamed loving themselves and their ways as they ran down the hallway and out the door.
“Hey!” they all said greeting us with hugs.
When we all say down JC asked if he could talk to Liz, no one thought anything of it as they both left into the other room.
“Me too,” he sighed.
There was a long silence, they both just looked into each others eyes.
“I have feelings for you,” they said at the same time.
“You do?” they once again talked together.
“Elizabeth when we held hands that time, it felt right, whenever I see you...I get this feeling. Like I shouldn’t get for a 16 year old. Even though I say I like you I know I am headed for pain, I mean your 16, engaged and have Isaac Hanson as a fiance...” he trailed off.
“How can I love someone but be attracted to another? I keep asking myself that same question over and over. JC I love Isaac with all my heart, I would never want to hurt him, he’s my first love. But I’m attracted to you, we are so compatiable and I have fun with you. We can talk so much easier. I’m also scared, Ike’s my first love, but also my last, how do I know I’m not makeing a huge mistake? How do I know I shouldn’t search my options first? How do I know Ike’s the one and your not?” she asked crying.
He didn’t say anything...he didn’t know what to say. He wanted her so badly at the moment, but at the same time he knew she was confused, as was he. JC knew that he’s wasn’t the one Liz should be with, Ike was. But at the moment he put it all in the back of his mind. She looked up at him and he pulled her closer, bending down and kissing her softly. He pulled away and waited for a response. What he got he wasn’t ready for. She grabbed him tight and began to kiss him. They kissed lightly at first but then got more into it. Their tounges began to dance together and it was a beautiful thing, or so they thought. Little by little their clothes got discarded and the only thing between them were their bodies and latex.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
She didn’t know, but all she knew was that he was beautiful and she wanted to try a different option. “Yes...” she moaned.
“Everything,” Lance laughed. “Trust me you’ll like the show.”
“A little conceded are we?” Lynn laughed as everyone began to laugh with her.
“I’m sorry we did that,” Liz sighed, “JC I love Ike and when it was over I finally realized that. Sex was NOT the way we should have found out if we liked each other. I can’t loose you, and I can’t loose Ike. I am so sorry, please forgive me,” she begged.
“Calm down, it’s OK, I’m the sorry one that was wrong, but I will admitt I liked it. I know where your coming from and I will be here no matter what, Ike’s a very lucky man,” he smiled.
“Yeah, if he can handle that fact that I just messed up royally. Shit! How can I be so stupid? Why didn’t I realize this before? Why didn’t I think? What am I going to say?” she asked.
“What you just told me, he had to understand you were meant for each other.”
“Yeah your right. Thank you JC, thank you for everything. But from this point on I am just a fan...and a friend,” she smiled.
“From now on I am just a mentor, deal?”
“Deal.”
“Do you want me to still come get you tomorrow?”
“No, we’re done, OK? I don’t think I need it,” she sighed.
“OK,” he smiled as they left the room.
“Well what happened?” Lynn asked.
“I told him, you guys were right. He didn’t feel the same, but it feels good that it’s done with. Now let’s have fun, OK?” she smiled.
We all agreed, but I knew what happened. I had gone to see where they were and when I pushed open the door quitely I saw them. Yeah he really didn’t feel the same Liz,I said fuming inside. I was getting sick and tired of lies and I was getting sick and tired of everything.
“So what happened?” Chris asked.
“Well I told her...” he began.
“Good, don’t you feel better?” Chris smiled.
“No...she felt the same way and thought I was going to say no. We told each other how we felt and agreed that it was wrong to have feelings and that she would be with Ike. But then...” he trailed off not sure how to put the rest of it.
“Yeah?” Chris asked not understanding.
“Well...then we...um...had sex,” he said astonished himself but upset at the same time.
“WHAT?!” Chris yelled loudly, “How could you have fucking sex!”
“She started it!” he yelled back acting like a kid.
“But JC man your the adult. You should have realized what she would have to go through and stopped it. Now she has to tell Ike, but if she was also not adult enough to realize, well...your both stupid...especially since it was ILLEGAL!!! Plain stupidity,” Chris yelled.
“Hey don’t just blame me, OK? I don’t get much on the road and when she was touching me I couldn’t stop. But I asked if she was sure and she just said yes,” he defended.
“Well what now?” Chris asked. He was so confused, how could this have happened?
“I helped her figure a way to tell Ike and we said good-bye. She saiw she waolud call if she needed and not to get her tomorrow...its really an odd situation...but at the sam time I fel so much better. Like a weight is taken off me,” he smiled.
“But not her. All I gotta say is if Isaac don’t take her back she’;s going to go crawling to you and you better be ready to take her in cause JC man you were half to balme, and if this gets out you can get in some SERIOUS trouble with the law,” Chris said shaking his head.
JC never thought of Ike not taking her back, or it being illegal. But he didn’t see how Ike couldn’t...he had to, and he knew the word wouldn’t get out, for sure. In any case he would have to be ready.
“Damn and with her dad, shit man what the fuck did I do?” JC sighed rolling into his bed.
Chris crawled into his own bed, “That’s exactly what you did...fuck,” Chris sighed.
He felt very bad for his bed friend. He turned out the light, it was finally time to go to bed.